


Find You | JJP FanFiction

by Ka_ochiru



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Fanfiction, M/M, god AU, kpop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 01:32:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 41,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14533788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ka_ochiru/pseuds/Ka_ochiru
Summary: Gods have always existed and hidden their world among humans.The only way to find that world is to gain the knowledge of them or to run into them.Im Jaebum had the `luck` of the second option, which leads him right in the life of an arrogant God.





	1. A low whisper in a soul

"Not again." He deadpanned and rubbed his forehead in frustration. Once again Im Jaebum had wondered away from the little group of his friends, all while being on a trip across Korea. His eyes scanned the unfamiliar area as he couldn't help, but to blame himself for his own stupidity. You had to have a talent to wonder off a huge path, in the middle of a shrine park and get lost, having no clue on how to get back.

He fished his phone out of his pocket and pressed the unlock button. The whole world seemed so against him - the screen displayed an unforgiving, shimmering 'no service' sign. "Gods are for real against me today," he chuckled at his own, lame joke. He only had to understand which way the Jongmyo shrine could be and head there before the last rays of sun left his vision. "Let's head back." He stated and turned around on his heel.

Jaebums own breath got stuck in his throat upon the sight. He certainly remembered the small path he took. Yet, after turning around, in an attempt to go back, he saw bushes and trees, not a path. The branches were shielding whatever was behind them, be it the path he took or more trees, but the whole forest didn't want him to get out.

"Nonsense." But, as unrealistic as the situation seemed - he couldn't push himself to not believe his eyes and head into the bushes.

He turned back, making his way down the, now present, path, deeper in the forest. His cautious footsteps were the only ones interrupting and echoing in the deaf silence of the forest. Every now and then a branch cracked somewhere in the distance, it was quite windy outside. He didn`t even notice how his breathing became more and more rigid with panic settling in his mind, as a layer of a thick, pitch-dark fog. He periodically checked his phone for service, hoping for a ray of luck shine his way, but the enormous trees were shielding any signal. The sky was shielded so bravely he didn`t even dare to look up anymore.

"Why did I even agree for this?" Jaebum mumbled into his turtleneck, shrieking more into his clothing as he almost threw the small backpack, provided by their tour guide, away. His anger was piling up in every part of his mind, intoxicating any rational thought.

He tried to remember of the contents inside of the bag, to occupy his raging mind at least for some while. There was 'an offering' for the shrine, which was probably some kind of a taste offering. He also knew there was a candle, which he tried remembering as well, but he only remembered the dark blue color of it. There was also a box of matches inside the backpack. When he focused his mind back on his surroundings another wave of panic washed over him. It was getting darker by every second, the forest was growing longer and scarier shadows

His head shot to his left side as his eyes widened by a fraction in horror, towards a tree branch that resembled a stretched out arm. Could he even get out when the night will settle completely? He tried taking the path back countless of times, but every time he saw the same - trees, bushes and other plants. But most importantly - no way back. The forest was gobbling him up alive, more and more by every step he took.

"Let me get out of here," he tiredly pleaded, "please." His eyes felt so droopy, legs completely giving up on holding his weight.

The squeak of his sneakers seemed so loud against the build-up silence. He looked down amazed at the stony road beneath his shoes and back at the small shrine, that had emerged from the cover of trees and bushes. "Why would anyone visit a shrine in the middle of a fu," he glanced around, "forest."

Might as well leave the offering here, he thought and dropped on his knees, on the half-crumbled steps. The shrine sure looked pathetic, but, much to his surprise, it was still holding on.

He swung the backpack down and opened it. He was quite surprised when he saw that the supposed 'taste offering' was not one at all, but a book. He took it out and placed on the steps beside him. After the candle was burning in an orange gleam, he took the book and examined it a bit. It was in black covers, a golden p.jy. pressed in. His heart calmed down upon the small feeling of security the candle provided.

After chanting everything that he was told to, he pushed himself up on his knees. The silence was cut again as a hiss emerged with the quiet whispers of the forest. Few, red droplets of blood fell against the torn edges of the shattered steps. He looked annoyed at the new wound - two lines displayed on his palm. "How do I even manage all of this?"

Jaebum wiped the blood in his black jeans and stood up groggily. "What else did I have to do?" He sighed while looking around.

_A wish._

____

____

"I wish to get out of here." He made a request not too surprising given his current situation. A small smirk made it`s way on his lips as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. "And to know what happened to this shrine and it`s lonely owner."

A sharp blow of wind trashed up his hair, few strands getting in his eyes. "Really?" Why would anyone even listen to his pleads?

_"As you wish."_

____

____

His gaze darted in panic to the owner of the rough voice. A man with his head raised up high stared down on him, superiority shown in his eyes. His eyes landed on the strangers plump lips, twisted in a devilish smirk.

"What?" Startled he took a step back, frightened out of his mind by the strangers dark appearance. The stone step underneath his weight crumbled on instant, making Jaebum lose his balance. He only saw the strangers smirk fade as the ground and patches of sky through branches got mixed together in a monotone blur.

"Are you usually this careless and clumsy?" A pair of arms held onto him in the place of the awaited pain. His eyes met two brown orbs gazing down on him. "I asked you a question."

"N-No." Jaebum stuttered much to his own surprise. The man placed him on his own two legs and took a step back. "Thank you for," he paused, "you were just at the shrine." A flash of gold ran over the mans eyes, the same smirk appearing again. Jaebum shook his head a bit, his eyes were playing tricks - that couldn't have happened.

"You made a wish and gave an offer, sealing it with your blood. I`m not allowed to get you in harm."

"I made a wish and left an offer to whomever that shrine was built for, be it a prince, king, queen or maybe a God for some damn reason. Not you." Jaebum sighed and picked up his bag. "Freak."

"So, you don`t want to get out?" As the words rolled out of the strangers mouth they sounded so mocking. Mocking to a point they made Jaebum feel small and vulnerable in his presence.

"I do."

"Let`s go then." He grabbed Jaebums hand in his own without wasting any other second.

Jaebum already shut his eyes close, ready for the sting of pain, since his hand was injured, yet, there was none. He jerked his hand away and observed it. There was not a single scratch. "As your God, I need to make sure you`re not in pain."

"God? What are you even talking about?"

"You humans really are dumb." The man sighed, stopping as well. "I`m Jinyoung. God of Knowledge. Since you made a wish with blood, left an offering that actually is connected with me - it was enough to fulfill your wish," his tone was harsh, "you can`t cancel it anymore."

"Are you insane? What kind of a freak even are you?" He took a step back, his hands raised up. "No thanks, dude."

Jaebum turned away, but as soon as he spun around - Jinyoung was immediately in front of him.

"You`ll need to pay for your wishes, don`t forget that."

Jaebum couldn`t say anything. It was the second time in a matter of minutes in which Jinyoung had suddenly changed his location. It was almost like he was able to teleport. "How?"

"Later." Jinyoung harshly cut his last question. "What`s your name"

"Jaebum," He hesitantly answered, "Im Jaebum."

"Well then, Jaebum~" Jinyoung took his hand again, dragging him through the woods, a path forming in front of him. "Don`t you even try to escape." He could sense the dark gaze Jinyoung held, despite him only seeing his back.

"Hyung!" A particularly loud yell overlapped the rising questions and other screams as soon as Jaebum opened the door to the hotel room he shared with the bunch of his friends. He shot them an apologetic look, guilt creeping up his back as he noticed the clock striking 10PM already. His dread was replaced by all the signs of worry creased in his friends faces, it made him feel guilty. "Where were you?!" The maknae of the group immediately lunged himself around Jaebums neck in a steel-tight hug. "Do you have any idea of how worried we were, you just disappeared!"

"I got lost," Jaebum answered sheepishly.

"Again?" Another head shot into their conversation, poking from the bathroom door with a mocking grin on the guys nicely formed lips. "Eh, luck was on your side again," he smiled, "you got out. Or maybe a long, lost spirit or even a God helped you?"

Jaebum quickly moved away from his frozen spot further into the room, alerted of his surroundings as he now remembered why he came back. "Hyung, don`t be ridiculous." He didn`t bother taking off his shoes as he went to one of the wardrobes filling the room and reached in the far back of it, taking out his suitcase. 

No one asked any questions, but looked in disbelief at the man who was frantically throwing some of his earlier taken out clothes back into the suitcase. Something must`ve happened while he was gone. It was basically written on his face, evident in how much his hands were shaking. The only question left was - who`s going to ask him? Jaebum wasn`t a person you could easily read off, so it was always a 50/50 chance of annoying him and getting yelled at. 

"Hyung?" The youngest mustered up his courage. He only hummed back in response, not stopping even for a second to look at the Maknae speaking. "Jaebum-hyung, what happened?"

He froze instantly as he was trapped in a flashback from the forest, Jinyoungs words pressing in every part of his mind. He hated himself for being so weak, for being so scared. He hated Jinyoung for the ease in which he manipulated with Jaebum, just because of the situation Jaebum was trapped in. The same eerie silence settled down again as the other guys were waiting for the outcome, their breaths trapped somewhere in their throats. Just because of his temper and flairy attitude, no one could predict Jaebum.

He slowly put the shirt he was unintentionally squeezing the life of out down and heaved a sigh. "I`m going back to Goyang," he declared, "I`ll have to skip on the trip. Sorry."

"But, why? It`s only the first day!" The Maknae whined again, not too much to Jaebum`s surprise. "If you`re afraid of getting lost again, we`ll make sure to keep an extra watch on you! Hyung, please!"

It only took for Jaebum to shoot him a single glare and there were no more complaints about his rash decision. "Update me with pictures from the rest of the trip, okay?" Not even waiting for an answer he already rushed out of the small room. The two younger boys and the Hyung was left in confusion, but if he was acting this was - no one could really change his mind. He usually had a good enough reason to act a certain way anyways. A man that called himself a God threatening him in a forest where the way back didn`t exist was a good enough reason, right?

Jaebum hailed the first cab in his sight and immediately asked to take him to the nearest train station. The ride wasn`t too long, in the meantime he quickly booked a ticket and returned to keeping the dread at ease. Trying to at least. He could`ve easily walked to the station, since it wasn`t that far, but it was better to be cautious and fast. He just wanted to leave the place. Leave before Jinyoung could suspect anything.

Any other tourist would try to savor at least a glimpse of their travel destination. The overall look of the city was pretty, Jaebum assumed from the few times his mind seemed to be put at ease. 

"Sir, we`re here." The man pulled him roughly out of his own head.

"Ah," he handed him the money, not really paying attention to the bills, "thank you." 

Quickly grabbing the single suitcase he had hastily re-packed, Jaebum went on a slight jog to get his pre-booked ticket on time. During all that time, he felt as if a pair of eyes would be digging holes in the back of his head. The feeling of being watched made him feel nauseous. 

Jaebum once again ran his eyes over the never ending crowd of people rushing by him. Just when he managed to push through the awful flow of people he caught a stare burning right in his eyes. The stranger was quite far away tho, his face covered by a black mask and a black cap. Everyone was moving in and out of the strangers way, so many people were pushing Jaebum inside the train. Soon enough the stranger vanished out of his vision completely.

What`s the possibility of Jinyoung knowing exactly when and were I decided to leave? He reasoned in his head. There are at least three different stations, all having different departure time, there were so many other people in the crowd with me... Heck, how would he even know where I live to catch the right train?!

"Your ticket please," the ticket collector sure looked annoyed by the slow reaction from Jaebum.

"Here." He stretched his arm out with the ticket in it. She scanned a particular area of it and and nodded while giving the small piece of paper back.

"Have a nice ride."

With a simple nod backwards he was once again back in the jail of his own thoughts. He couldn`t wait to get back home, in the security of his apartment, where everything seemed safer than outside here.

Jongmyo shrine was only their first stop in the long awaited trip. He left right on the first day, but living with the dread of Jinyoung being nearby - he didn`t exactly want to take that risk as well. Few more buildings and few more streetlights passed by his vision: some older, some newer, till it was finally the time to get off.

His apartment wasn`t too far away and his fast pace made the way to it even shorter, he didn`t think much about his surroundings, just moving on was fine. Relief over-flooded his mind when the all too familiar building emerged from the cover of some other buildings and sky-scrapers.

"Finally home." He sighed and slumped against the front door after locking it. He slowly slid down till he hit the familiar coldness of the floor. The scent of his own apartment seemed to relax his nerves completely. Safety. 

"You really like to put people through trouble, don`t you, Jaebum?" Jinyoungs figure appeared from the doorway of his room as the man crossed his arms over his chest. A black face mask was rolled under his chin and a black cap covered the bow of his dark hair. So, Jaebums suspicion was right from the start - the stranger had been there the whole time. "It would`ve been easier if you stayed at Jongmyo as a good little-"

"Whatever you want - I don`t have it nor can I give you anything." Jaebum quickly retorted at the other man. "Just leave, please."

Jinyoung chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. Jaebum froze on his spot as a wave of red climbed up Jinyoungs irises, replacing the previous warm color. "Your dongsaengs looked rather scared of you, respectful. Even your Hyung held high admiration in his eyes for you." He made his way closer to Jaebums rolled up figure and bent down to his level. His cold fingers pushed Jaebums chin up as he watched in satisfactory the other male not even resisting. "What would they say upon a sight like this? Their feared friend, so weak... Mh, Im-Jae-bum?"

Somehow Jinyoungs last words made Jaebum flare up in anger. He felt sudden strength floating through him as he grabbed Jinyoungs arms and pushed him away with so much strength it made the other man stumble back and land on the floor as well. "Get lost. I`ll call the police," he stated, barely keeping his voice from trembling in anger, "you just broke into someones apartment."

"I don`t think you realize the disadvantage you`re in." Jinyoung stood up and grabbed Jaebum by his upper arm, pulling the other up as well. "Take your stuff, we`re leaving."

"You`re leaving," Jaebum crossed his arms, "not me."

Jinyoung sighed as he grabbed his arm again. "Blame yourself for this later."

It was like the floor gobbled him up alive as soon as those words left Jinyoungs lips. He felt as if his body would be floating around, at times it felt like his body was being ripped apart from ever fiber, every part. He couldn`t even fully register everything happening around him, but, by the time his head stopped spinning like in the worst carousel wheel ever, he was already on the floor, an unfamiliar one.

"I warned you," Jinyoungs normal colored eyes stared down on Jaebum as the poor guy was still trying to understand what happened.

"Jinyoung, is he the one?" A man with bright red hair suddenly appeared in the room, two or three other persons following behind the redheads back. Jinyoung only answered with a nod as Jaebum finally decided to get up from the floor. "Where`s his stuff? I`ll take it to the guest bedroom."

"He was being stubborn, so there`s nothing to take care of," Jinyoung smirked.

"I really wonder if he was the one being stubborn."

"So he`ll just use your clothing then?" Someone else spoke up. "Hot." The blue haired man beside the talker suddenly punched his arm. "What was that for?!"

"Prophylactic reasons," he grumbled back.

"He doesn`t seem very happy about this idea." The redhead replied with a sympathetic smile. He did look friendlier than the others, not so nagging. "I`m Mark." He stretched out his hand for a handshake, but all Jaebum could do was bow his head a bit and take a cautious step back. Mark slowly lowered his hand as a tiny flash of disappointment glistened in his eyes, before he masked it with a smile. 

"Hey!" Jackson appeared right in front of Jaebum. "That`s not a way to answer your Hyung!" Jaebum froze in his spot as the familiar red tone appeared in the other males eyes.

Why can`t I move?! Jaebum screamed in his head. His limbs were basically frozen by some unknown force. He stared in horror as his hand stretched out on it`s own will towards Mark. No, no, no, what`s happening? My limbs are moving on their own...!

"Jackson, stop," Marks voice came out dark and distant, with a hint of annoyance in it. 

"He needs to learn some damn respect," Jackson snarled back at Mark. 

"Fine, just stop this nonsense." He rolled his eyes and took a step towards Jaebum. He stopped midway and turned the, still frozen, males hand, so his wrist would be facing up. "Jinyoung," Mark asked not advertising his eyes away, "he`s not a sin. Haven`t you marked him?"

"A what?" Jaebum jerked his hand away, when he finally felt like he could move. He turned his head to Jackson, who was practically growling. 

"Jackson," all heads turned towards Jinyoung, "if you do anything to him again~" The way those words left Jinyoungs lips made everyone shudder in fear. The way he glared at Jackson could only be described as a predator eyeing it`s prey. "I`ll guarantee you a place in my forest of souls." 

Mark shuddered in fright. "You already made him a tree once. Let`s not make the history repeat itself, okay?" But, no matter what the older said, the aura around Jinyoung didn`t ease even by a bit. 

"Jaebum, do something," a low plead rang from Jacksons side.

"If he chose you as his sin, you`re the only one that can help!" The blue-haired man shook Jaebums arm. "Hyung, help!"

"What do you expect me to do?! I don`t even understand what`s happening!" He yelled back. Truth told - he felt a bit too satisfied upon seeing Jackson this frightened. 

"Oh, I`ll explain~" The tone in which Jinyoung spoke as he advertised his gaze on Jaebum made everyone curse under their breaths. His attention wasn`t on Jackson at all anymore. 

"Shit." Mark cursed and slowly backed out of the room with everyone following his suit. "Good luck." He mouthed when Jaebum finally noticed them leaving. 

By the time when Jaebum had backed against the door, with no more room for escaping and Jinyoung towering over him - everyone had cowardly left the room. His hand went for the metal doorknob digging in his back as he tried to lean as much as possible into the door in hopes of escaping Jinyoung. The door unforgivably stayed dead in it`s place with the doorknob not moving an inch. The whole world probably hated him to leave him in such a situation.

"So, Jaebum~" Jinyoungs cold breath ran over Jaebums lips as he spoke. His red, glowing eyes were digging right in Jaebums warm ones. 

"YAH! Who`s blocking the damn door?!" An annoyed voice whined from outside as it suddenly swung open, sending the two almost flying. "It takes me to go outside for five minutes and," the man stopped, "hello! You must be Jaebum-hyung!" He looked at Jinyoung who had miserably lost his balance and landed on the floor. 

"Yugyeom, I will kill you."

"Yeah, yeah, later Hyung." He rolled his eyes and immediately interlocked his elbow with Jaebums. "I`ll borrow him for a while." As Yugyeom dragged the confused Jaebum away everyone else slowly started making their ways back into the living room, apologetic looks on their faces. "I swear," he leaned closer to Jaebums ear, "if that Hyung doesn`t stop treating his sins like this - I`ll beat him." 

"I`m sorry, but I have no idea what a sin is." Jaebum managed to answer as they marched down hallways and rooms. "Besides, Mark-hyung said I wasn`t... `Marked` yet?" Yugyeom looked in disbelief as Jaebum tried to not laugh, because of the stupid pun.

"Don`t even try to laugh." He growled. "It`s not funny."

"It is."

"We`ll see who ends up laughing last after you find out everything about Jinyoung."


	2. Since when have Gods been good and Demons - evil?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every God and Sin are supposed to attend an acient gathering, set by some old Moon calendar and even older bunch of Gods.   
> Yet, not being a Sin, Jinyoung just manages to screw it all up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are actually Spotify playlists for each chapter, let me know if you'd want them for the next chapters as well.  
> The one for this chapter: https://open.spotify.com/user/karu%5E%E2%80%A2%5E/playlist/2WF48G1rcsJ5VKmvU59zek?si=3_mrrB9ITpaAbgTqKypqOQ

"Get ready. We're going out." Jinyoung tossed a black bag to Jaebum, who miserably failed to process the others orders instantly. "Come on! We don't have a lot of time. Go take a shower!"

"I'm not going anywhere." He growled back and leaned back on the bed.

"I'll allow you to go to your apartment and gather your stuff, if you do."

"Only if I get to go outside as well."

It had been several days of Jaebum staying in, what turned out to be, a ridiculously big mansion. Yugyeom was the only person he at least exchanged a word with, something in lines of - "Good morning!", "Hi.", "I got lost, where is my room again?" and "Goodnight.". He had refused to stay with them all for anything else than the dining times and the random times in which he ran into them, when he was aimlessly wandering around the hallways.

"Fine." Jaebum's eyes shot up to the male in front of him.

"Really?" To say that he didn't expect Jinyoung to agree would be an understatement - he was sure Jinyoung wouldn't.

"But I'm tagging along." He turned around on his heel and started walking out of the room. "Now get ready, you have a bit more than half an hour." Jinyoung slammed the door shut and disappeared into the enormous maze of hallways.

Jaebum took the bag in his hands and unzipped it, expensive fabrics in black and white glazed under his eyes. He took out the first thing and frowned upon the sight - a suit. The bag contained a really expensive looking suit, dress-pants and a white, classic shirt among with a red bow-tie. He felt his legs getting numb as he realized what it was all for.

He had heard Jackson talk with BamBam about the party held this week. It was one of those rare times when Jaebum decided to leave his room for a walk around the mansion. The two were deciding on how to dress up for the upcoming celebration. BamBam was almost yelling at Jackson about how important it was to match and pick the best suits. Apparently the gathering was a tradition set by some ancient Moon calendar and even more ancient group of Gods, to say the least. He got so nervous upon the thought of going with the bunch, that he had run into a piece of furniture and knocked it over - blowing off his cover from the two.

"I better hurry up." He jumped off of the king-sized bed and rushed into the bathroom. The bathroom never stopped to amaze him - all in beige, black and white tiles. There was an enormous black, stone sink and a mirror upon it, full length mirrors right beside the sides of the sink. The bathroom was so luxurious he could always chose between a bath and a shower, but the time was limited, so he quickly stripped and stepped into the shower. He felt as if all of his worries were washed away in the drain when the first drops of the steaming water hit him. The drops of water sharply bounced off his tensed shoulders and neck, making him feel on the cloud nine. He closed his eyes in bliss of the sensation and peace-

"Hyuuung!" Jaebum recognized Yugyeoms voice ringing from behind the bathroom door. "Be quick, we need to talk!" He furrowed his brows and unwillingly opened his eyes in tiny slits.

"I`m here as well!" Mark soon joined the whining Maknae - so the talk should be something urgent.

"I`ll be out in a bit!" He shouted back and turned off the shower, cold air caressing his bare body on instant.

After drying up he quickly blow-dried his freshly washed hair, few droplets of water staining the white t-shirt he had gotten from Jinyoung. He remembered how weird it felt when Jinyoungs scent was all around him for a day or two, his senses were almost dull whenever he inhaled. Nothing was able to describe it, the scent Jinyoung had. It was like a rainy forest after a week of continuous sun, like a cup of coffee in a library full of books. It all created an epiphany of scents, leaving Jaebums mind filled with the thickest clouds.

"What are you even thinking about?" He muttered to himself and turned the fan off.

He slowly went to the suit, which was hanged on the door, and allowed his fingers to trace the lines of the expensive fabric. The shirt alone looked worth a thousand. What do you know? Maybe it was...

"Jaebum-ah, Jinyoung will come after 10 minutes!" Marks voice rang again, followed by impatient bangs on the door.

"I`m coming out." He muttered, taking the last glance in the mirror as he couldn`t help, but admire the chic look. His piercings and rings definitely added a nice look to it all, but most of all - the color of the bow-tie. It was exactly the fiery color of Jinyoungs eyes whenever he got mad.

Dazzled he shook his head. Stop thinking about Jinyoung. 

"What`s there to talk about?" He asked as soon as he opened the door to his room.

A low whistle emerged from Yugyeoms lips as he checked Jaebum from head to toes. "Hyung did a good job picking that suit."

"He did a good job picking his sin." Mark wiggled his eyebrows.

"Hey guys, Jinyoung is already wa~ Oh, man." Jacksons head poked into the room as he finally stepped in completely. "Jaebum, you look so chic."

All of their words made his face turn red, probably matching with the bow-tie around his neck. "Thanks."

"Wait, that`s not why we`re here." Yugyeom suddenly announced as a faint `oh right` left from Marks side. "The party is a yearly celebration held by some of the highest Gods."

"Since you are to be Jinyoungs sin - you are required to go as well." Mark continued explaining.

"What even is a sin?!" Jaebum raised his voice in irritation. "You guys keep talking about stuff I have no idea about!"

"Can we tell?"

"As long as Jinyoung doesn`t know." Yugyeom shrugged and finally turned to Jaebum, who was as confused as always. "Okay, so you know how some of us are Gods, right? Jackson, Mark and Jinyoung are all Gods, but before that, you have to be turned into a sin, by another God. Have you ever heard about the Seven Deadly Sins?"

"A long time ago, but not that I remember."

"There`s pride, lust, envy, greed, gluttony, wrath and sloth. Once a God turns human into a sin they get one of those names depending on their personality." Jackson continued. He suddenly approached Yugyeom and pulled up the sleeve of his suit, revealing a black `Gluttony` pressed in his pale skin. There was a tiny `j.jk.` underneath the word as well. "We, Gods," he motioned at himself and Mark, "need sins to survive. They store up the power and strength we need. We hold emotional connection with them which provides us with energy afterwards."

"If you`re familiar with this information, a God is allowed to turn your human form into a sin, since Jinyoung didn`t explain anything yet, you`re still human." Mark jumped on the bed and stretched his legs out. "But Jinyoung doesn`t know we`re telling you all of this~"

"Oh," Yugyeom suddenly poked back into the conversation, "sins can be later turned into Gods. Still based on their personas they are made into a God, however, it doesn`t happen often."

"The first week of being a sin is actually pretty dangerous." Jackson spoke carefully. "There`s a lot of power stored up in the first week based on how long the God has been alone. Also the fact that some... Other Gods can try to kidnap the sin in the mean time."

"Why?" Jaebum`s eyes widened in fright upon the though. He remembered how frightening Jinyoung and Jackson had been at first, so the thought of meeting more Gods like the two left him in fright.

"I will be very blunt," Mark smirked from his place, a set of white teeth appearing from his lips. "Sins blood, in the first week, is just addicting. We are Gods, but just like our contract is signed with blood, just like people kill their offering, leaving a trail of blood... We do quite like it."

"Jinyoung is about to burn the entire house down if you guys won`t get your butts downstairs!" Youngjae`s frightened yell interrupted their conversation.

As they all made their way downstairs Jackson swung his arm around Jaebums shoulders. "For the record, Mark`s a God of Silence, he will get your mouth shut and your entire body paralyzed in a matter of seconds. I am a God of Possessiveness - I can control your body to my liking with only a thought, but you already experienced that. Now Jinyoung`s the real scary one - God of Knowledge. He knows everything that`s written in books, written anywhere actually. Everything from history, languages to actual witchcraft and black magic." Jaebum gulped. "Do not anger him if you still want to live. His damn pet-forest is your worst nightmare. You can`t get out of it without specific knowledge about the place."

He nodded rapidly at Jackson and immediately advertised his gaze on his shoes, which, needless to say, looked expensive as well. He had no intentions of picking his gaze up anytime soon. He just felt so pathetic under Jinyoungs stare it was making him sick of himself, not to mention that he was hardly able to get a word over his lips when the other man was close by.

"Jaebum." Even Jinyoungs voice was able to put him in such a state no one else had before. "It`s impolite to avoid eye contact with someone who`s talking to you."

Jaebum was at a loss when his eyes met Jinyoungs. He was wearing the same-looking suit, except his shirt was black, the same colored bow-tie blooming from the collar of his shirt. Jinyoung shot him a small smile. "Let`s go."

Jaebum looked in confusion as he noticed them all split up and go into different directions. He wanted to tag along to Yugyeom so badly, but he knew better than ever that he couldn`t. He just had to go with Jinyoung, so he quickly caught up to him. He felt even more confused when Jinyoung unlocked one hell of a expensive looking car.

There has to be a God of money hidden somewhere in the basement. Jaebum sighed in his head as he opened the passenger seat door and slid into the leather seats. The car itself was so comfortable, he felt drowsy as soon as he buckled his seat belt.

"You can sleep." Jinyoung spoke as they drove out of the gates. "It`ll take good two hours to get there anyways."

"Why don`t you teleport?" Jaebum yawned, getting more comfortable in the seat.

A small chuckle came from Jinyoungs side as he glanced at the almost sleeping figure. "It would take away our extra entrance. Now we will be able to enter as the three pairs of ridiculously handsome men."

"Three?"

"None of us Gods have claimed Yugyeom, he`s someone else's' sin."

Jaebum sure hoped he would be able to sleep, but as quickly as the sleep had climbed up his mind, it was gone as well.

The words from Yugyeom and the other two Gods were throbbing against his skull all the time. Jinyoung technically had all passes to make him one of them.

"Jaebum~" Jinyoungs faint voice emerged from all the layers of sleep and darkness into Jaebums mind. He didn`t recall falling asleep. "Wake up, we`re here." He then felt slight shaking, to which his eyes lazily fluttered open. He froze in his place upon seeing Jinyoung so close to his face. "Be sure to stay close to me." He noticed Jinyoungs eyes wander down to his lips and then back to his eyes. "You don`t even smell like claimed. If anyone disturbs you, just call my name."

"I will." His voice was barely a whisper when he answered Jinyoung, completely the opposite of what he intended.

"Good."

The party hall looked huge, it was filled with people in expensive clothing, the whole look of it was filthy rich. And, just as Jinyoung said, when the six of them entered, all eyes were on them. He couldn`t ignore the whispers from all of the sides at all. Mark and Youngjae were in front, Jackson with BamBam behind them and Jinyoung with Jaebum tagging behind the two pairs. Jackson and BamBam both had superior smirks on their faces, while Jinyoung couldn`t care less as to advertise his attention to anyone.

Everything seemed so fascinating to Jaebum - the colors, the overall appearance. From every side a differently shimmering dress or suit appeared in his vision. "Hey, Jinyoung~" He turned his head to where Jinyoung used to be and sighed in disbelief as he noticed that he got separated from the bunch. "Not again."

Jaebum sighed in frustration as he glanced around the unknown faces, trying to find at least someone familiar.

"Who`s sin are you?" Jaebum turned around to the speaker and noticed two men eyeing him up and down. They both were wearing colorful suits, their hair styled in opposite going waves. They looked like models straight out of a magazine - astonishing.

"I don`t think he belongs to anyone, Kihyun." The taller of them two spoke, an arrogant smirk playing on his plump lips. "He smells like a human."

"How would a human get into here, Hyungwon?" The shorter sighed and took a step forward. His eyes looked so dark and mysterious, that Jaebum was straight up lost in them.

"I`m sorry, my God`s calling me." Jaebum blurted out while trying to get pass the two Gods.

"Slow it down~" Kihyun whispered in his ear, catching Jaebum by his arm. "If your so called God was dumb enough to not mark you, then I won`t hesitate to have some fun."

"Agreed." Hyungwon said as they eyed Jaebum hungrily. 

"I`ll count to three for you both to get your hands off him." Jaebum sighed in relief. He saw Jinyoungs intimidating gaze eye the two people holding him. "One, two~"

"It`s Jinyoung." Hyungwon stepped away. "Kihyun, let go of him."

"Or what?" Kihyun jerked Jaebum closer. "You haven`t claimed him, I have all the rights to~"

"Oh, I haven`t?!" With a swift motion Jaebum was already in Jinyoungs hold. He felt the other males breath inch closer to his neck, he could already feel Jinyoungs lips press on his sensitive skin.

"Hyung!" Jinyoung growled in annoyance. "Not here." Yugyeom pushed through the crowds who didn`t seem to notice the slightest bit of the scene unfolding right before their eyes. Or so it appeared to Jaebums eyes.

"Fine."

Jaebum didn`t even get to react as they both were teleported into Jinyoungs car. They sped out of the parking lot and into the night streets. There wasn`t a single car around and Jinyoung was speeding way past the speed limit. Jaebum already wanted to speak up, but after seeing the red glow and the way Jinyoung had grabbed the steering wheel - decided not to. He turned his head so he`d face the window, but even that didn`t help him feel less frightened. Whatever was coming upon him - he couldn`t avoid it. 

As the familiar mansion appeared in their sight, Jaebum felt the uneasy feeling crawl up his back once more. Almost screaming for him to attempt escaping.

"Get out." Jinyoung snarled and slammed the door shot. He didn`t let go of Jaebums hand all the way to the mansion. Only when the door clicked into it`s place, he finally let go of Jaebums wrist.

Jaebums back hit the wall painfully as Jinyoung pinned him to the hard, cold surface. "Didn`t I tell you to stay close?"

"I didn`t notice that I wondered off," Jaebum mumbled back.

"Why didn`t you call for me?!" He yelled at Jaebum, glaring at the frightened male. His body was shaking in anger, mind almost boiling. "DIDN`T I TELL YOU TO CALL ME?!"

"I`m sorry."

"If I was a tiny bit late~"

"What then?! Maybe they wouldn`t treat me like you do!"

"Oh, you think?" And with that Jaebum regretted ever speaking up to Jinyoung. "Let`s prevent the possibility of this happening ever again." He brought his finger to his lips and sliced his skin open on the brink of his teeth. "Now," Jinyoung pushed the sleeve of Jaebums suit up, "if you try to move or disturb me by any way possible - I`ll throw you in the forest." He winced in pain as his wrist now had a red line on it. Moments later Jinyoung pressed his thumb on the wound and glanced up at Jaebum. Immediately he felt as if his wrist would be set on fire, Jaebum watched, not moving an inch, as black lines escaped from underneath Jinyoungs thumb and onto his skin.

As soon as it started it all ended. Jinyoung stepped away and crossed his hands upon his chest.

"Show me your wrist." Jaebum hesitantly moved it up. He flinched in surprise as Jinyoung painfully grabbed onto his hand. "What a surprise..." The sarcasm was pure out evident in his tone as he let go of Jaebums hand and disappeared on instant.

"Damn it." Jaebum grumbled as he supported his head with his right hand, bringing the left one up. His eyes widened in disbelief as he stared at the black letters.

  
 ** _Wrath_**  
 ** _p.jy._**  
  
  
______________________________________

"JAEBUM!" Furrious knocks errupted from the other side of the door as Jaebum stayed on his bed lifelessly. He felt his heart racing, but he assumed it being an afterefect of whatever had happened before with Jinyoung.

He was a sin of wrath.

"HYUNG!"

"Don't call me that." He faintly worded as the memory of his group of friends rised from the depths of his mind. His dongsaeng, the Maknae of the group, had always called him Hyung not Jaebum. He missed the youngest one so much while being stuck in here with, both, the Gods and Sins.

"Hyung, open the door or I'm breaking it down!" Yugyeom yelled as some other furious bangs shook the wooden door. "Jackson-hyung!"

"Get up." He sighed in annoyance as he felt his heart rate increase even more upon his body moving up from the bed. "To the door and unlock it." His hand twisted the key left in the keyhole and the door swung open immediately.

"Jaebum-hyung!" Yugyeom swung himself around Jaebums sholders as he squeezed the older male in a steel-tight hug. "Wait," he paused for a brief moment, "something's different." He pushed Jaebum away and inhaled deeply, on instant he grabbed Jaebums hand and brought it up closer to his eyes. "He really did it." The tone in Yugyeoms voice was that low tone of pain he sometimes heard from his beloved Maknae.

"I'll call Mark-hyung." He shortly answered already turning around to make his way out.

"No need, I'm here." Mark made his way into the room. "BamBam, get Jackson away!" He yelled into the house, his voice echoing through the hallways. He took Jaebums hand gently and examined the new mark. "Why did he had to make such a scene? At least three groups of local and foreign Gods and Sins, among with the ancient Gods took interest in you because of Jinyoungs foolish outrage." Mark mumbled quietly as he let Jaebums hand go. "Jaebum," he spoke softly, "how do you feel?"

Jaebum shook his head taking a step back. "I'm fine. My heart's racing a bit from the shock, I guess, but I'm alright."

"Ehh," he dragged out the letter, "I highly doubt it's the shock." He closed the door right when BamBam was just dragging Jackson away.

"When was the last time Jinyoung-hyung had a sin?" Yugyeom sat on the bed followed by Jaebum doing the same. "Few years, right?"

Mark only shook his head no.

"The last time I saw my last, beloved sin was at January 2nd, 1903." Jinyoungs figure appeared in the room as his eyes were fixated on Jaebum only, he had probably waited for everyone else to appear. "Since I haven't had a sin for so long, Jaebum could be receiving enormous amounts of energy."

"Get out."

"You need me to survive."

"Get out!" Jaebum yelled out, glaring at the man that had turned his life into a living Hell.

"You know where to find me if you stop being stubborn." With that Jinyoung disappeared as suddenly as he had appeared.

"Now listen," Mark turned Jaebum to himself, "the sitiation is not good. You are receiving the amounts of strength Jinyoung didn't have all this time. There's gonna be a lot, so he needs to take it away from you. If that amount is not taken away your heart will not survive through this week. You can`t survive your first week without him." 

"Hyung, you need Jinyoung." Yugyeom quietly added. "I was Jungkook's first sin and even then the power I got was so much."

"I'll just go and use that strength then." Jaebum chimed in over-cheerfulness at the two as he marched out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

_I don't need that idiotic God and his so called 'help"._


	3. Boundaries are set to not be crossed, to keep in line

_More..._

Jaebum panted in his mind as he dashed through the woods with all his strength. Much to his surprise, as he exited the mansion, he saw the same damn forest right outside the building. Since he desperately needed a room for a wild run he dashed inside the thick woods without a second thought. Occasionally out of fright or over-cautiousness he checked if the path back was still there. Sure enough - it was. Unlike the first time he had wondered into Jinyoungs trap-forest, the way back was always there. Not that it helped him escape, it just provided a feeling of security - like fools comfort.

He took a sharp inhale as his foot clumsily tripped over a loosened tree root. He managed as much as to shield his face, before he fell down on the hard ground, a growl-like groan escaping from his chapped lips. 

"Not enough." Jaebum breathed out while slowly supporting his back by a tree. He could feel the high level of energy calm down by a bit as his heart finally decided to slow down as well. It still wasn`t enough tho.

"I know you`re here," Jinyoung called out, "somewhere."

Jaebum quietly stood up, hiding behind the enormous tree. "Jaebum, let`s stop playing these childish games and come out already." 

Over my dead body. He thought and went right between the trees and bushes in front of him, stepping over the path that would lead him back. Truth be told, he had invested some time in finding out something more about this `forest of souls`. Even if Jaebum could see the path leading back - it would lead him nowhere. The only way out was to battle his fear and go right in any direction where the path didn`t lead. Soon enough, the trees parted and he was in front of the mansion again. The building stood brave under the starry night sky. "My room it is."

As Jaebum got to his room, thankfully not meeting anyone else of the annoying household, he made sure to check if Jinyoung was still outside and, judging by the forest, he was still outside. Jaebum quickly took a shower and went straight to bed, in the world of peace and quiet. 

Or so he thought.

As the first layers of sleep settled in his mind he felt his heartbeat increase. Maybe not exactly increase, but beat more strongly by every second. He opened his eyes while panting heavily, beads of sweat tracing his forehead and temples. He felt as if the blood running through his veins would occasionally kick the inner of his head as well. 

Jaebum slowly managed to get out of his bed and stumble to the kitchen, where he hungrily gulped down two glasses of water. But, not matter of how much he drank, he couldn`t seem to ease the thirst at all. White dots were jumping in the corners of his eyes as he slumped on his knees, the glass slipping out of his hand in the process. He squeezed his eyes shut as the sound of it shattering broke the silence. 

Too loud. 

"Hey, what`s going o~" Jaebum darted his eyes to the doorway as the voice of the owner seemed to echo everywhere, not identifying the speaker. "HYUNG!" Youngjae`s hands suddenly appeared around his torso as the younger dragged him away from the glass sheds. "MARK!"

"What was it?" As Mark noticed the panting Jaebum in his Sins hands, he immediately understood the situation. "Get Jinyoung."

"N-No." The thought of the other God made Jaebums mind roar with despite as he managed to break the Maknaes hold and stand up, somehow. "I don`t need him."

"Jaebum-ah, you don`t understand what you`re saying." Mark stopped him midway and turned the other at his direction. "Don`t do this to yourself."

Jaebum only managed to push Mark away and slump up to his room. The whole world was swinging in different directions, everything mixing together in a swirl of colors. By the time he was back in the security of his bed, he couldn`t stop himself from shaking. He had almost no control over his body.

"Jaebum." He closed his eyes in annoyance as Jinyoungs familiar voice rang from whichever corner of the dark room. The only light escaped from the uncovered windows. "Jaebum, stay still." The bed shifted under the others weight and Jaebum, still violently shaking, sat up in an attempt to get away.

"Leave." He snarled over his trembling lips. "Don`t come near me, Jinyoung."

"I never meant for you to go through this much pain." Jaebum was caught off guard by the softness of Jinyoungs voice. He could see the apologetic look in his shadow covered eyes. A look that he could never imagine in the others eyes. "When Mark called me, I knew that I had to act immediately. As much as I`d want for you to learn a lesson upon your stubborn attitude." He eyed Jaebum cautiously as he crawled a step closer. 

"D-Don`t."

"You don`t have the time to play around anymore." Jinyoung grabbed onto Jaebums wrists and pinned him down on the bed, underneath himself. "Stop struggling." He calmly whispered.

Jaebum couldn`t let the stings of electricity go unnoticed at the places where Jinyoungs skin collided with his. He could feel his scent all around him again, that damn scent that left his senses so dull and clouded.

"Stop." Jaebum was completely lost in Jinyoungs eyes, calm under his grip. Except the rapid breathing and occasional twitches as his body couldn`t handle the energy anymore. "It`ll be over soon~" Jaebum watched as Jinyoungs face inched closer and closer. He gulped nervously as he allowed his eyes travel to Jinyoungs lips, but as he met his eyes again they were half-lidded, still fixed on Jaebums. Before he could strike up an objection Jinyoungs warm lips pressed against his own ones. He closed his eyes on instant and moved his lips in an even rhythm with Jinyoungs. He felt his heart race with a different kind of feeling, as few knots tied in his stomach. Jinyoungs hold slowly loosened and traveled down from Jaebums wrists to his hair. He couldn`t ignore the feeling of Jinyoung being so close, and, oh, how he wanted to push him away, but not a single muscle budged to do so. 

When they both finally parted for air, Jaebum could only stare up at the ceiling, his chest moving with big breaths as he blinked furiously. 

"Better?" He looked at Jinyoung who wasn`t in a better state. His lips were unforgivably red and swollen. A small growl left from Jinyoungs mouth as he eyed Jaebum, his eyes red again. "Damn, that`s a lot of power you had there..." He climbed off of Jaebum and sat on the side. "Sleep now. You need to rest, this week will be hard." He allowed his hand to caress Jaebums silky hair once more, before the sensation of cold air around his fingers took the place of the others warmth and silky locks.

Jaebum watched with the corner of his eye as Jinyoung, never letting Jaebum out of his eyesight, stood up from the bed and teleported outside of the room. He sighed in relief and finally breathed in an even rhythm.

As night settled further, so did Jaebum - finally accepted by the world of deep slumber. While drifting through the thick layers of sleep and darkness he couldn`t help, but to notice the sudden discomfort that settled upon him as he slept for more and more hours. When his mind finally forced his eyes open, displeased by the sudden thumping of his heart again, the light outside his windows had just began to make it`s appearance. Slight rays of the pale sun had just started painting the sky in lighter tones. 

"Not again." Jaebum panted, bringing one of his hands to his chest. Shakily he got out of the bed and wondered into the quiet hallway. It took him few moments to adjust to the darkness outside of his room, before he proceeded in a slow slump towards Jinyoungs room. Jinyoung had his room placed the furthest into the mansion. He had to concur two hallways and three or four sets of stairs till he was in the basement. The basement itself was over-packed with enormous book-shelves, sticking their heads into the ceiling. Every bookshelf held more books than it physically was supposed to, but, for some reason, the wooden furniture still stood bravely, shielding the knowledge written on the sheets of paper. Even tho Jaebum desperately craved for a place to support himself onto, never did he touch the bookshelves. 

"Jaebum?" He sighed in relief as Jinyoung came out of his room before he could reach the door. The noise of Jaebums feet heavily sliding against the wooden floor had made him curious enough to put down wherever he was doing and come outside, even tho he highly suspected him coming downstairs sooner or later, Jinyoung expected it to be after few more hours. It was barely 5AM in the morning.

"Morning." He croaked and held a rather pathetic smile on his face. 

"Again?" Jinyoung asked as he noticed the pained expression on the others face. Jaebum only managed to shake his head - yes. With a sigh he approached the other and cupped Jaebums face in his slightly warm hands. He could never really describe the feeling he had when his skin touched Jaebums, he felt strangely proud the moment other Gods and Sins saw them both together. Without the slightest hesitation he clashed their lips together as a new wave of energy, power, call it whatever you want - dashed through his veins. 

Jaebum sighed against Jinyoungs lips in bliss - his heart had calmed down for a while again.

"Take a book from here, we`re going on a trip while your first week lasts." Jinyoung announced. "The bag with your stuff is in my room, so feel free to take it whenever."

  
_____________  


"Hyuuung." Jaebum turned his head as Yugyeom slumped inside the kitchen. He was busy examining the book he had taken, so maybe that`s why he hadn`t noticed the soft pit-pat of Yugyeoms bare steps as he neared closer. The younger had obviously just woken up, his hair in a yellow mess as it stuck to sides like sun rays breaking against a broken mirror. He rubbed his eye with the back of his pale hand and froze in some kind of realization. "Wait, you`re all better now." A small grin broke on the younger ones lips as Jaebum turned his head away. Obviously Yugyeom didn`t know of what Jinyoung had gone to `make him feel better`, but, then again, wasn`t it the same for everyone? 

"Y-Yes, I am." Another obnoxious stutter replaced a steady answer.

"So~" He teased. "How did the other Hyung do it?" 

"Isn`t it~"

"Morning, everyone!" Mark peeped inside the kitchen, all dressed up already, with a slightly dazzled Youngjae following in his tracks. They both were staring at Jaebum like he had two heads supported on his shoulders. "Did you both make up?" Jaebum nodded once more. "Good."

"What were you about to ask?" Yugyeom seated himself beside Jaebum and took a cookie from the bowl in front of him.

"Oh, isn`t it the same for everyone? The way you take the energy?" 

Mark snorted as he watched Jaebum in amusement. "I wonder what our Jinyoung did to leave you this flustered when you talk about last night."

Gasps emerged from the youngest`s` as they covered their mouths with a hand. "Hyung?" Yugyeom teased as he nudged an elbow in Jaebums ribs playfully. "What did Jinyoung-hyung do?"

"How do you do it?" Ignoring Yugyeom, Jaebum turned to Mark with a raised eyebrow.

"Depends." Mark shrugged back. "Since Youngjae here is basically the sun itself I either hug him or simply take his hand in mine." Youngjae himself was wearing the biggest grin ever as he plopped on the other side of the counter. 

"Jungkooks the same, he sometimes hugs or simply places his hand on my shoulder and quickly takes what`s his." Yugyeom shrugged. However, there were unspoken words in all of their eyes, something that was kept only to themselves. 

"Jaebum, we`re going!" Jinyoung yelled from the staircase as he had just gotten up from the basement. Jaebum quickly excused himself and rushed to the stairs where Jinyoung was leaning against the railing, watching his Sin with curious eyes. Never in the past had he been attached to his Sin like that, but all Hell could break through - he`d never acknowledge it. 

"I`ll go get my stuff." Jaebum said as he partly hid the book he took behind his back. A corner of the black, leather covered book was eagerly pressing in his side.

"It`s already in the car." Jinyoung announced carelessly and went inside the kitchen. He bid everyone good morning, ignoring the obvious smirks and glances. Mark kept quiet the entire time, waiting for the tension poison the air enough for Jinyoung to finally snap, that`s how it usually went. Jinyoung, on the other hand, without a care in the world went to the fridge, took out a plastic container and as quickly returned to Jaebum.

"This has never happened." Mark smirked while leaning back in his stool. He quietly observed the two sort some things out by the stairs. "I think he`s finally living again."

"You think?" A genuine smile was dancing on Yugyeoms lips as he shared a hopeful look with Youngjae. 

The house finally seemed at ease after so long. "I sure hope so." Mark took a sip of his cooled coffee. "But, it might as well be the horrifying silence before a storm. You know, 'The Day' is approaching."

"We`re leaving!" Jinyoung yelled as he took Jaebums hand and dragged him outside.

The air was crisp, despite the seemingly warm sun rising - the night had been one of the coldest so far. At this rate it might even snow in the closest two months. The grass was lightly coated with frost, leaving soft cracking noises behind every step the two made. Their breaths developed into clouds of steam, that flew up in the air on instant, dancing and twirling with beautiful patterns. Some sun rays had managed to break through the thick branches of trees in front of them, kissing their faces with light, warm pecks every now and then. 

All of it went unnoticed to Jaebum. He couldn`t take his eyes off their intertwined hands for a second. By now Jinyoungs hand had pleasantly warmed up in contrast to the cold outside. The firm grip in which it had Jaebums own burning hand was mesmerizing.

"Jaebum." He slowly picked his eyes up, for them to get stuck on Jinyoungs rosy lips. "Jaebum!"

"Ah, yes?" Embarrassed of his weird behavior he jerked his hand away from the comforting hold and looked in Jinyoungs eyes.

"Get in the car. We`re going."

"Going where?" Jaebum asked back as he slid into the leather covered seats again. He buckled his seat-belt and turned towards Jinyoung. Jinyoung didn`t spare him another glance nor another word as he started the engine and drove out of the security the mansion provided. Jaebum didn`t dare to ask anything else as he wordlessly stared at the road in front of him.

"We`re going to a private area, so we could leave the car there." Jinyoung suddenly spoke up. Jaebum turned his head to look at him and immediately noticed the way he was focusing on the road, the way he had pressed his lips together in a deep thought. "There can`t be a record of us leaving Korea."

"We`re leaving Korea?!" Jaebum yelled in surprise. If getting lost in a forest that didn`t have the way back, meeting a God, getting almost kidnapped by two other Gods (In a party that`s set up by the Moon and even more ancient Gods), getting turned into a Sin and barely surviving the first day - wasn`t absurd enough, then leaving Korea sure was, for some reason. "I shouldn`t even be surprised by this anymore."

Jinyoung laughed in amusement as he turned his head towards Jaebum for a split second, but as Jaebum was about to do the same he had already focused back on the road. "I screwed up big time at that party," Jinyoung said, his tone getting a bit darker, but not loosing the hint of playfulness in it. "It would be safer for us to leave Korea, just for this week. But, if we go through all security check-up's, airports and deal with documents - you will be caught in no time. So, I spoke with a group that knows us and they allowed me to leave the car there and all, then we`ll teleport."

"Why not teleport from the mansion?"

"They will come to there, approximately in," he glanced at the clock in the panel, "5 minutes."

Jaebum stared at Jinyoung wordlessly. 

"I know everything that`s written anywhere. One of the main Gods wrote an order." His eyes pressed in tiny slits as he grinned with arrogance. "Naturally I had to think of a plan on instant. They will track us down and try to get on our foot, but~"

"We will already be at our destination, and, judging that it`s private, they won`t be able to break in."

"Ka-ching!" 

"But, that can`t be it."

"The owners are abroad as well."  Jinyoung continued explaining. "It will take them, let`s say a week, to get a pass to trespass."

"And, by that, the first week will be behind our backs, so they will no longer take interest in it."

"Exactly."

At this point - Jaebum wanted to yell, scream, possibly kill Jinyoung on the spot, crash the car for all he cared. Jinyoung had planned the perfect plan of getting away, but at the same time, if they left Korea, Jaebum would also have no damn chance of escaping Jinyoung when the week`s over.

He couldn`t, of course, straight up yell and object the idea, and try escaping. (He couldn`t pass the first week on his own - that was out of option.)

The sun was climbing it`s way up the sky, but it didn`t warm up the day at all, kind of like Jaebum felt inside. He had found his way of surviving, but it didn`t mean he felt like living. First time in these miserable weeks he though how much better it would`ve been if he had just stayed in the forest and given up. 

He turned his head towards the window and stared blankly at the passing trees. The usual scenario of roads, houses and public in general was changing into more trees and less houses. What shocked Jaebum the most, is that it happened so fast. Usually it took a lot of time to get out of the city zone and into the less populated areas. When you did you could see a house here and there, no area was deserted, but here... It was forests and nothing else.

_Just this week and I will be finally able to escape._


	4. Where one walks the ground - only destruction is left behind

The darkness tied it`s invisible strings around Jaebum`s frame as he laid on the soft hotel bed with complete wasteland in his mind. Jinyoung had left to pay for their hotel room, leaving Jaebum on his own for a bit. Yet, he couldn`t take this moment of loneliness to do anything. Any thought, that had actually some construction, would be better than the mess, yet the complete emptiness in his mind. A blow of cold wind caressed his bare arms and, finally, he shivered with the stinging being too much for his heated skin. In hopes of clearing his aching mind, Jaebum lazily got up from the white sheets of his bed and made his way to the balcony door. The wind was ripping the curtains with all it`s might, since the door was completely open, but that wasn`t what caught Jaebums attention exactly.

"Hello," he coed at a small bird seated on the railing of the small balcony. The bird tilted it`s head at Jaebum, visibly starting to breathe more heavily, but it didn`t fly away. It was fairly tiny, but quite unusual. What didn`t help him, was the fact he had no idea of the species habited in this area. The bird was almost as dark as the night itself, a streak of yellow slicing up the night-colored feathers on the right side of it`s neck. It wasn`t the bright color of Yugyeom`s hair, it was more of a soft blonde than anything else. It chirped in a sweet melody, almost as of asking a question to Jaebum, but, of course, he couldn`t give the creature an answer. "You sure are pretty." He stretched his hand out in an attempt to brush the paler looking beak.

"Jaebum, are you still awake?" As soon as the door to the hotel room opened, the bird flew away so quickly Jaebum didn`t even have the time to pull his hand away from it. "What are you doing there?"

_Just stop asking so many questions, when you don`t answer any of mine_ , he growled in his head. He still stood wrapped in the cold of the night, which seemed to be even worse than it was back in Korea. It had seeped though the thin layer of his clothing, through his skin and fallen into his bones. It almost felt like the cold was trying to caress the depths of Jaebums soul with it`s long, frozen fingers. As of trying to catch on a loosened side of his soul and tear it open. Slowly, but steadily unfolding enough to sneak it`s whole frozen hand underneath the warmth of Jaebum`s kindness and sincerity. Or, was it Jinyoung doing all of that not the cold...?

"Nothing." Jaebum turned his gaze away from the cloud covered sky and slumped inside the small room, not before closing the balcony door after himself. "I thought I saw snow falling, so I came outside."

Even tho Jinyoung had been inside the building this whole time, he sure as the broken relationship the two held - didn`t see a single peck of water that could be mistaken as snow outside the polished windows. However, he didn`t pester Jaebum any further. He wouldn`t gain any benefit out of it.

"Are you feeling okay?"

Jaebum sat on the side of his bed and paused in thought. He had completely forgotten about the threat of wild energy suddenly tearing his heart from inside out. It was strangely calm. "I am."

"Okay, good."

The silence enveloped them both again. It might`ve felt a bit awkward at the beginning, but after all those hours they spent together in the car, where the only sounds were created by the moving vehicle, nothing really seemed awkward anymore.

Jinyoung was pacing through the small space every now and then. He got to his suitcase and dragged out a black t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. He seemed to pause while looking at the various contents inside his bag before taking out some other stuff and heading into the bathroom. Not long after he locked the door, the shower began running.

Jaebum stretched out on the bed and turned his head towards the window, in hopes of maybe seeing the small bird again. Not too surprisingly - it didn`t show up at all.

"Jaebum~" He felt light shaking and a muffled voice wake him up as he blinked tiredly, eyes adjusting to the dim lightning of the room. "Go take a shower. We`ll spend some more time on the road tomorrow before we arrive at the city we`ll be staying at." He shook his head in approval before drowsily getting up and gathering some of his own stuff.

The bathroom was filled with steam when he entered. He didn`t notice when sleep had crept up his mind, but, then again, this wasn`t anything unusual for the past days, so he didn`t put too much mind in it. As the water washed away his worries and some events that had occurred recently, he found himself staring at the black mark on his wrist.

_"Oh, isn`t it the same for everyone? The way you take the energy?"_   
_Mark snorted as he watched Jaebum in amusement. "I wonder what our Jinyoung did to leave you this flustered when you talk about last night."_

He grit his teeth in anger as the memory floated high enough to reach a meaningful level of consciousness. What did they mean by 'depends'? And, why had Jinyoung chosen the embarrassing way of kissing to take the energy?

When he snapped back from his thoughts, he noticed few droplets of blood mix with the pouring water and disappear into the drain from the places where his nails were buried in the skin of his palms. His knuckles white - in such a contrast with the crimson blood, made him realize the state he had forced himself into. The kiss didn`t mean anything. Jinyoung - didn`t mean anything. Maybe he had a good enough reason to do it that way and not some other. For example - holding onto his hand, putting a hand on his shoulder or, for all he cared, slapping him across his face - maybe Jinyoung just 'couldn't' do it for all he knew.

He made a note in his mind to confront Jinyoung about it later. As he was almost done cleaning himself up, he could hear Jinyoung shuffling through the room, walk around it a bit too much and finally jump on the bed, which was followed by, what sounded like, an amused sigh.

He put the hotels towel to dry and gathered his stuff back in the bag, before getting out of the sticky warmth of the bathroom.

"Hey, look what I found in the mini-fridge!" Jinyoung waved two bottles of expensive looking wine in the air.

"Put them down before you drop them and break the bottles. I don`t have the money to pay for those, they look expensive." Jaebum mumbled as he put his stuff away and sat on his bed, facing Jinyoung.

"That`s because they are expensive!" Jinyoung smiled cheekily as he easily popped out the cork and, if that`s quite possible, grinned even more. "Besides, I`m paying for it." He winked at Jaebum and took at least four, large gulps straight from the bottle. "Try, it`s good."

Jaebum hesitantly reached over the small space between their beds and took the warm neck of the bottle in his hand. "Just go for it," Jinyoung growled. "Let`s loosen up a bit, I believe we could`ve hit off on a better note."

"Well," Jaebum took a huge gulp himself. "If you had just showed me the way out of the forest, in a nice manner, I sure would`ve made sure to stay in contact with you afterwards. Or," another swing from the bottle, "wouldn`t have lured me in at all."

"WELL," Jinyoung mocked as he took the bottle out of Jaebums hands, "if you hadn`t decided to pray at my shrine and basically perform a ritual - you wouldn`t have been tied to me. Besides, I didn`t lure you in, if you wonder into the forest - it was supposed to happen."

Jaebum stared at Jinyoung wordlessly for a while. If what the other was saying was true, he pretty much couldn`t escape his faith by any human ways of resistance. The thought of asking his Hyung for an advice popped up in his mind again. Of course, the opportunity was long missed and now he could probably never see his friends again, but all of that could`ve been saved. If only not for his stubbornness.

When Jinyoung stretched his arm for Jaebum to empty the last, few mouthfuls of the wine he suddenly asked: "Why by kissing?" The warm liquid slid down his throat slowly as the air seemed to tense up in anticipation.

"Pardon?"

"Why do you take the energy by kissing?" He asked again, giving his tone the last bits of courage he still had. "I talked with others and none of them do that!"

Jinyoung snorted, which soon developed into heartfelt laugher as he fell backwards on his bed. "What`s so funny?"

"Oh, I can`t believe~" Jinyoungs sentences were partly muffled by his hand, which he had pressed over his mouth. It took him a while to calm down and sit properly. "That`s because they don`t do anything as innocent as 'plain kissing' anymore!"

"What? But, Mark said~"

"Holding hands and hugging?" Jinyoung raised his eyebrow up. "Yeah, maybe in their first weeks and some time afterwards, but, honey, not anymore."

"Why didn`t you then?"

"Wanna tell me that you didn`t like it?" Jinyoung smirked as he watched the tips of Jaebums ears tint lightly red. Caught red-eared.

"You did force it on me, you know."

"You didn`t resist."

"As if I could!" Jaebum slammed the bottle on the ground. "Just answer the damn question, Jinyoung!"

He popped open the second bottle, drinking it much slower than they were the first one: "I had to see something."

"It really doesn`t answer properly."

"Okay, maybe not as much to see as to confirm.. and maybe try getting stuff done faster." He swirled the liquid around the bottle as it made small noises in the quiet room. He seemed almost lost in the red liquid, the same color once again taking over his brown eyes as he continued the observation. Jaebum couldn`t really make out what Jinyoung could be thinking of right now - it could`ve been anything. From trying to find words to form an answer, which, most likely, wouldn`t please Jaebum to not thinking about anything. Similarly to Jaebum`s previous state.

Jinyoungs sigh flew in the air before he looked at Jaebum again: "It`s more than you can understand at the moment. Besides, I am not the one to tell you that. The three musketeers or basically anyone else would fit it better. Like they told you everything about our World, enough for me to turn you into a functioning part of it."

"You knew..." Jaebum gulped as he suddenly froze under Jinyoungs piercing gaze.

"As for me~" Jinyoung trailed off. "All I know is that I know nothing."

"Socrates."

"I knew there had to be at least something interesting in you that made you my Sin." Jinyoung smirked as he took the second bottle in his hand and crawled on his bed completely and settled in. "Go to sleep now, I`m not sharing the good wine."

Jaebum rolled his eyes and immediately disappeared under the thick blanket. He couldn`t sleep immediately tho. His mind wasn`t as troubled as before, blame it on the wine or the fact that he got to bicker at Jinyoung, but he could strangely keep his thoughts at peace. He emptily focused his eyes on the wall in front of him and just stared, like some invisible words would be written on the wall. Telling the worlds most important story with invisible letters. After a while, he turned on his other side and saw that Jinyoung had emptied the entire bottle and currently had his head buried into an enormous book.

_He claims to know everything that`s written in books, yet he still reads them_ , he sighed. _There`s sure something wrong with him on a higher level than I please to know._

The mechanical clock was glowing with a green light in the dim room, having 2.24 AM displayed on it`s screen. The numbers pulsated in an even rhythm, even tho it seemed too cheap to actually do something on an even level. But, focused on the slow blinks of the annoying light - Jaebum somehow eased his mind into a sleeping state.

His sleep was pretty hollow, he could hear Jinyoung take breaths, shift on the bed and flip through pages, despite the layers of sleep that was piled on top of his mind. And even tho the world of unconsciousness was in a mix with the world outside his sleep barriers, that stood there like plain ice at the riverside at spring, - he still saw a dream. A dream of the night-dark bird with the streak of blonde, almost looking as bright as the sun, in the form of a crescent.

Jaebum was in a place he had never seen before - it looked like some sort of a cave. There were streaks of light breaking through an entrance few meters behind him, few more beams somehow breaking through the ground that had swallowed him up. He, himself, was sitting in warm sand, which poured into his shoes and climbed in the ends of his jeans. In front of him was what appeared to be an underground lake, the surface so smooth as a mirror, without a single wave. Even tho there had to be a hidden spring somewhere - to supplement the water. It actually worked pretty much as a mirror as well - reflecting the vault of the cave. There wasn`t a single hole from which the light could get in, yet - it was there, breaking through almost like the patches of sky that had fought their way through in Jinyoungs trap-forest.

The bird set on Jaebum`s knee and tilted his head, the same way it had on the balcony. It jumped one, two, three times and chirped before flying up again. "I don`t understand what you want from me."

"Hyung!" The bird suddenly spoke in clear Korean, sending shivers down Jaebums spine. He attempted to crawl away from it, but his arms only sank further into the sand, gobbling half of them. "Where are you, Hyung?!" The painful voice of his Maknae cried from the birds beak and found it's way to Jaebum`s ears.

"G-Go away," he stuttered in fright. "Please, leave me alone." He felt warm tears stain his cheeks as his head dropped down, in hopes of avoiding the pest that sounded like voices from his past. "Hyung can`t come back." He sniffled. "Hyung can`t."

"Hyung~!"

"SHUT UP!" He bolted up in his bed, sweat running from his forehead and landing on his hands which had the covers of his snow-white bed in a death grip. "Go away, please, go away." He continued muttering as more tears joined the fallen sweat, more and more by every second.

"Jaebum!" Jinyoung grabbed on his wrists and tried to peek under his lowered head, to catch his gaze. "Look at me."

"I don`t want to."

"It was just a dream."

Jaebum started to shake his head frantically: "It was him."

"Who?"

Jaebum finally picked gaze up, staring pitifully at the God in front of him: "My dongsaeng."

"Jaebum, that`s impossible. The group of friends you left at Jongmyo?" Jaebum shook his head yes for an answer, his voice too hoarse to speak anymore. "Okay, get up now. It's past 8 AM anyways."

He didn`t ask anything about the hurry, Jinyoung wouldn`t answer anyway. After he was ready, meaning - cleaned up and done packing his stuff, they went to have some light breakfast. Seeing as Jaebum wasn`t up to anything much.

"I`ll take our bags to the car. Go ahead and order something for the both of us." Jinyoung said as he took Jaebum`s bag as well and turned away before Jaebum could strike up a complaint.

Not trying to invest the strange behavior Jinyoung suddenly developed, Jaebum slowly strolled down the small cafe that was located on the 1st floor of the 5 storey hotel. When the worker came to take his order Jinyoung still hadn`t returned, so he settled with two cups of coffee and two breakfast offers. All while balancing on his broken English.  


  
________________  


Jinyoung locked the door to his car and quickly jogged up the few concrete stairs of the humble hotel. Okay, it definitely fit it`s description, the appearance of the hotel, but for his standards - plain humble. The plastering was misserably peeling off at sides, the warm color of yellow mixing with red, as a result of the rust from the roof ticking down in heavy rain seasons. At least the windows were changed, since some buildings still had old, wooden ones, the hotel was okay for the price they took tho. Jaebum didn`t seem to mind this place a tiniest bit as well, at least he didn't hear or see any complaints or uneasiness from the other. He stopped to peek inside the cafe and saw Jaebum talking with an officiant in obvious distress, which made a small chuckle bubble up in Jinyoungs chest. He was probably having trouble in ordering. 

"I can`t forget what I have to do." Jinyoung quietly whispered to himself, almost in a scolding manner, before sending one last look to Jaebum and running to the stairway. After he passed the first security camera, he immediately teleported into their shared room. Their coats were still hanged neatly on the hanger, stuff like phones and chargers, among with Jinyoungs book laying on the table and other small pieces of furniture. His eyes scanned every area before they landed on the balcony. The door was open, just like the last night when he had left the room. It wasn`t windy outside, so the curtains stayed in their place this time.

Jinyoung scurried over to the corner of the room, where he could carelessly see the balcony, but whatever was out there couldn`t see him. For few minutes nothing happened, as if someone knew he was sitting there and patiently waiting. As a breeze of light wind climb up his legs, he spotted a little creature sitting on the railing. The bird was chirping in an up-beat melody, turning his head from one side to another - trying to take a look inside.

Jinyoung could feel his mind slowly get poisoned by anger, an awful feeling he had gained from Jaebum. He had stayed up all night, because the energy he received was enough to skip rest. Whenever Jaebums heart picked up it`s pace he made sure to take his energy, by a simple touch, throughout the whole night. However, there was something else he picked up with it and kind of took from Jaebum with every time they did this exchange of power and relief - his nature as a sin of Wrath.

"Now." Jinyoung teleported in front of the bird and grabbed it in his hand. He saw the crimson color reflect in the creatures eyes. Indeed, he didn`t know at first if his suspicion had been right, but after seeing the yellow streak - it confirmed. "I thought I saw you yesterday."

The bird stopped struggling immediately.

"Who are you and what business do you have with Im Jaebum?" And, as Jinyoung mentioned his Sins name, the bird started trashing around on instant. "Not talkative I see. Have it your way~" He walked back inside the room and closed his eyes for a bit.

Branches started to stretch towards them from the walls, grass that almost reached up to Jinyoungs knees grew through the carpeted floor. Soon after, not a single piece of furniture was seen through as they both stood in the middle of a forest.

" _Pest_."  


Jinyoung snarled as he let the bird go, who didn`t attempt flying away.

"Good, you`re familiar with where you`ve gotten yourself into," he smirked. "SPEAK!"

The bird set on the ground, the grass parting where he did so, and soon after a blond-haired man stood in front of Jinyoung. His gaze was lowered as he avoided the Gods stare. "Why is he here and not in Korea?" He spoke softly.

"You wouldn`t understand."

"Try me!" The male spit through gritted teeth. "What God are you?"

"You`ve heard of me."

"But, I can't remember your face. So, a minor~" He smirked. "Then it won`t be too hard to get rid of you. Your fairy tricks won`t work on me!" The man crossed his hands upon his chest and stared up at Jinyoung. "You think I haven`t killed a single God of Nature?! You scream to our faces about the set laws, the laws of Nature, yet you never follow them yourselves!"

This stupid thing thinks I`m a damn fairy, Jinyoung chuckled in amusement, the benefits are on my side again.  


  
________________  


"What`s talking him so long?" Jaebum growled quietly as he poked his pancakes around the plate. He was waiting for half an hour, yet Jinyoung hadn`t appeared at all. Much to Jaebum`s luck, he had left his phone in their room as well. He didn`t want to seem desperate or show any signs that he was worried. Even more if it was Jinyoung we`re talking about.

"Sorry," Jinyoung rushed inside the cafe and sat on the opposite side of Jaebum, "the car was acting up."

"It`s fine."

Jinyoung put a piece of eggs in his mouth and drank a bit of coffee on top: "Why aren`t you finishing your breakfast?"

"I was waiting for you to arrive," Jaebum mumbled back before he stuffed another piece of pancakes in his mouth. "Are we leaving right after?"

"Yeah," Jinyoung said after emptying his mouth. " _A little bird told me we don't have the need to stay here any longer._ "


	5. When leaving the humanity behind, a greater world is what you see

"Have you ever been to a lighthouse?" Jinyoung suddenly asked, cutting the thick silence. "To an abandoned one."

"Why would've I been to an abandoned lighthouse?" Jaebum retored with a raised eyebrow. Sometimes the questions Jinyoung asked were ones you could find difficult to answer to, sometimes they were plain out ridiculous. But, since Jinyoung was still stealing glances at Jaebum, that pestered for an answer, the other replied with a sigh: "No, I haven't. I once went to a lighthouse with my Hyung and his family, but that was a long time ago."

"Good," Jinyoung had the biggest grin on his face as he hit on the gas pedal and the car roared with new life.

"Jinyoung," Jaebum worder carefully, as if reasoning with an over-grown child. "Don't tell me we're going to a lighthouse?"

"Nope!" He popped the p and took a turn to the left. "We're going to _lighthouses_. Two!" 

With that Jaebum didn't have anything else to say. The change in Jinyoung was so sudden he didn`t even know how to analyse it or what to think about it in general. 

"Where are we now?" Jaebum asked to ease the silence as he was pretty much done sitting and staring at the never-ending scenario of trees and occasional old cottages. 

"Europe."

"That doesn`t explain much," he sighed and turned his frown towards Jinyoung.

"Almost at Baltic," and after that a smirk crept on Jinyoungs face, "doesn`t ring a bell, does it now? That alone should make everything clearer by 95%, yet, since you have such poor knowledge, it doesn`t help at all."

"It`s just because you`re a God," Jaebum snarled with an eye-roll as he turned to watch the trees again. "If you were a simple human, you wouldn`t be laughing now."

Jinyoung`s smirk didn`t flutter even for a bit. It was like no matter what Jaebum said, he had always an argument up his sleeve to shoot back. And, no matter how reasonable Jaebum's objection was, he couldn`t prove Jinyoung wrong. "What are you trying to prove?" Arrogance laced his voice. "You`re not human either," Jinyoung patted Jaebum`s knee, "you`re a Sin and that's as far from being human as we are from the sun."

_That was true._

No longer was he human, but nothing else, apart from the mark and the constant flow of energy, had changed. Not once had they ran into another God, that found something in-human in Jaebum. So, he bit down his bottom lip to stop another flow of curses and angered sentences from digging his grave further into the ground. 

Nothing changed for the hours they were in the car. They drove through some bigger cities, but stopped only to eat and took occasional stops, since Jaebum was in a desperate need to walk around. 

Soon after, it all got dark and Jaebum couldn`t watch the trees anymore, but it all got replaced by some street lamps and other objects gleaming in the shower of the car-lights. And with every passing kilometer, Jaebum`s eyelids grew heavier as well.

It's hard to look anywhere. Even the usual, orange street lamps, by the side of the road, seem like biting his eyes out. The scenario outside is all in a veil of darkness, but it's interesting. When he put his warm hand against the freezing window, to make sure no light interrupts his observing, the contrast feels fresh against his skin. Even tho his eyelids are heavy and on the brink of closing, Jaebum forces his eyes open. Which feels like hell, because they are dry from all the damn light reflecting back and peeking from the lanterns. The approaching cars all look like using the long-view light, not the usual ones. That's how painful a bit of light feels in this abyss of night.

Jinyoung took a sharp breath and glanced sideways at Jaebum, he noticed the curiousity in Jaebum's eyes: "Do you know how a small town looks from afar in the dead of a night?" He suddenly asked. "Sinister. There's something about capital cities that makes the gleam of their lanterns seem usual, but the small cities and towns - the look in the sky is like it's bathed in blood and lit up in the wildest flames."

Jaebum only stared at him in silence, not really knowing what to answer. He had never been to a small town, since all of his life he had more or less stayed in one place. Besides, every city he visited in Korea was modern enough to have proper street lights. Nothing he had seen before looked like the abandoned corner Jinyoung had dragged him to now. "I`ve never seen one."

"I know," Jinyoung smiled. "Look across that hill, above those trees," Jaebum followed the given direction and, indeed, the sky was glowing soft orange. "That`s not it tho. Wait till we drive around."

He doubted that much could change after that, since there should be buildings tall enough to make the scene usual. But, oh, how wrong he was. 

_There was nothing._

He couldn`t see a single skyscraper or a singe building that would stand above, only the orange lanterns and the sky above them. It wasn`t like anything he had seen before. The way the cloud-covered sky had snatched the light in them and turned it into something describable as a blood bath was a look only described in books.

"What do you think?" Jinyoung asked, motioning to the town secured by the tress.

"Only that I don`t want to go there."

"It does give that feeling, but, lucky for you, we`re going around that town."

He watched as the red sky disappeared around another hill, covered in tall trees. Somehow he was left to ponder of the close tie with the world and the Gods. Before he knew anything about them, everything had seemed so simple. Now even trees reminded of Jinyoung, something in such a wide range as trees - made him think of how he ended up here in the first place. Was it the faiths cruel way of pulling cards and randomly choosing what horrors Jaebum was to face or maybe it was all neatly laid out somewhere? The feeling of insecurity swam it`s way up from the deep bottom of Jaebum`s soul again. To compare the feeling to a fish, that has decided to look at the daylight again would be too much. It was more like an single-cell organism, that`s how small the insecurity was against every other possible emotion, yet - so important.

"We`re here." Not too surprisingly, the car had stopped in the middle of a forest. When they drove off the road and onto a sand and stone covered one - Jaebum didn`t know. He was so lost in himself, that the sudden change had slipped pass his levels of consciousness. "Now, be quiet, this is a private area." 

"Jinyoung, are you crazy?!" Jaebum whisper-yelled at the other, who only wore an amused smirk.

"Listen, this light-house is a museum, which belongs to an old lady, who keeps a house here. Just behind that rusty gate." He explained and locked the car, "but we`ll just be teleporting inside the lighthouse and taking a walk."

"That`s illegal."

"Not if no one knows," Jinyoung seemed completely done with Jaebum by now. It was evident in the way he had shifted his weight on his right leg and crossed his hands upon his chest. Even in the dim light of the night, he could make out the scowl on Jinyoungs face. 

" _Fine_." 

Jinyoung immediately wrapped a secure hand around Jaebum`s waist and in a matter of seconds the drowsy feeling of the earth beneath their foot opening, swallowed them both. But, before any of that managed to make any sense - Jaebum`s feet collided with a stony surface. Even tho he tried adjusting to the new darkness of the place, presumably the lighthouse, there wasn`t enough light to make out anything, but how close the walls were. 

"Can you see?" 

"No, it`s like in a dark pitch." 

"I`ll help." The hand that was lingering on Jaebum`s waist moved down to take Jaebum's own hand, while his hand was wrapped around Jinyoung`s thin waist. He couldn`t help, but to tense up, even tho this wasn`t the closeness they had been in before, it still didn't go un-noticed. That night Jinyoung had taken his energy for the first time, the day when the party was held - both were times when the intimacy and closeness were much more distinct. However, the gentle hold and tingles, where Jinyoungs fingers caressed his skin underneath the shirt he was wearing, seemed to be as important. Something deep inside his mind yelled that he should be mad for any sort of contact with the God, but the yells got muffled by the electricity radiating from Jinyoungs touch. 

"We`ll have to climb up stairs, they go in a spiral, so don`t go just straight."

"Why can`t we teleport?"

Only silence served him as an answer, but something told him to not ask any further. Jaebum shook his head understanding and tried to navigate his body in the pitch black darkness, where occasionally some light escaped from the lantern outside and he could take a glance or two at their surroundings. There wasn`t much. Mostly the large, concrete steps that lead further up, some more space at different floors that lead to some kinds of sightseeing platforms, but Jinyoung didn`t even turn to look at the places. A window occasionally peeked from the excess space, casting some more light. 

After what seemed like an eternity of climbing up stairs, added with the firm grip on Jaebum`s side, Jinyoung suddenly stopped and the hold disappeared as well. Jaebum had to remind himself to let his grip on the other loose as well. He couldn`t see where Jinyoung had gone to, but after a short moment something creaked open and suddenly he could see Jinyoungs silhouette, by a small, wooden door.

"You coming?" 

Jaebum moved from his spot and, after bending slightly to fit through the small door, went out on the platform, which proudly held the main light in the middle. He could almost imagine how the light would shine brightly, guiding ships in the dead of the night. Piercing the hopeless darkness with a shine no one could overpower. 

He jumped when the door closed behind his back with a thud and all he could hear was his heartbeat increasing and hammering against the inside of his rib-cage. Even the rushing winter cold, which tried to overpower late autumn warmth, didn`t seem to cool down the heat spreading through his body. The night was calm, the only noise coming from the never-ending forest underneath the lighthouse and the sea, where the line of forest ended and sea started - he couldn`t make out in the dark.

"It`s beautiful." Jinyoung faintly said, but the whisper didn`t fail to reach Jaebums hearing by a second. There was barely any light left, but enough to see the waves crushing against each other, but maybe those were just the trees bending in the wind. Judging by the sound, it was the sea, but Jaebum still wasn't too sure of his sight.

He breathed in the fresh air, which was something dearly missed in all these hours of driving to here. For once, Jaebum seemed at ease, even if his body was burning like caught up in the worst Hell-fire. 

"Are you okay?" Jinyoung asked as they both leaned on the railing and stared somewhere in the distance, the wind running through their hair. "Your heartbeat has increased."

"It`s probably the energy." He muttered back.

"I see."

Jaebum flinched in surprise as Jinyoung put his hand on top of his and the heat became even worse. It spread from the place their hands collided and crawled up his arm in no time, till every limb, every centimetre got gobbled up in the invisible flames. "That should do it."

He sighed on instant as Jinyoung put his hand back on the railing, slowly the heat stepped back and his heart finished the marathon as well. _So, it was only the energy_ , he though and closed his eyes for a brief moment.

"I realized I never fulfilled all of your wishes back at the shrine," Jinyoung suddenly stated.

"How so?"

"You asked to know what happened with the shrine and it`s owner, yet I never told you."

"It`s fine."

"But, it`s a part of what I have to do." 

Silence took over the last words Jinyoung had blurted out, before he continued: "It was a long time ago, longer than I care to remember," He took a deep breath and turned his gaze to Jaebum. "I was the only child of my family, the king and queen. It was around the time the walls surrounding the city were somewhere around 20 years old, a person climbed over them. I can`t remember from which of three kingdoms he was, but he was a professionally trained assassin. That is... back in his human days." Jinyoung looked back at the sea and took a breath, in the mean time, Jaebum wrecked his brain from one corner to another, to remember all history of Korea he could. "He had planned this ever since his days as a Sin and, when he finally got turned into a God, for some reason - I was his target."

"So, he just took you outside the residence and~"

"No," Jinyoung cut his sentence. "I had to pretend dead."

The hatred lacing Jinyoungs tone was as alive as the nature around them. He had his eyes narrowed at a spot in the sea, even without taking a closer look, Jaebum knew that they were flaring red. He had his lips pressed in a thin line before he spoke again: "I laid there and heard as my mother wailed over my death, her cries and curses to the sky above our heads to bring her son back. My dad was standing beside her, silently crying as he muttered prayers and pleads to someone above," A bitter chuckle left his lips. "That someone was the reason why I ended up like this. But, it was long ago. Too long ago to still feel the way I do about it now. They forgot me, I thought, a new child was born and everything went on as it was supposed to. They built a shrine for me, after few years had passed. But, anyone that got sent there - ended up never coming back."

_The forest_ , Jaebum thought as a cold shiver traced it`s finger down his spine. 

"Of course, my parents denied the possibility of the shrine being cursed by a God. However, after my father never came back and my mother was left alone with my brother - she knew. She knew so well, what had caused it. So, after leaving a letter, which explained that my brother was left to rule over the land, she left. I saw the forest take her soul and make her a part of it." Jaebum noticed the sudden break of Jinyoungs voice as he continued speaking. He felt sorry, so sorry for Jinyoung. Carefully, he placed his hand on top of Jinyoungs, earning a barely noticeable flinch. "I still remember the grip she had on my hands when I cried as her body slowly grew more and more into the ground. She cursed me, cursed me for taking away her husband, for her son to now grow up alone, for me to have caused so much pain."

"Jinyoung I-"

"Don`t," He growled and wiped the tears away, with the sleeve of his coat. "Don`t say anything, I don`t want to hear you apologies. The God I was tied with, he later made me a God as well. I ran away. As soon as his name disappeared from my skin - I ran. Gods are very complicated, it`s hard to explain anything so you`d understand. But, a God can see their Sin as the last thing, before they die. I`ve pulled this card for every time, yet," he swallowed hard and turned to Jaebum completely. "None of my Sins had even the slightest bit of regret, pain, anything on their faces. They all, one after one had worn victorious smirks. And then, on the last second, I changed my scenario - wiping the smirk off of their faces and replacing it with pain."

Jaebum felt pain poking it`s sharp finger from inside - he felt guilty. Guilty for everything he had said to Jinyoung, out of anger or any other emotion. He felt bad for being so bratty towards a God who hadn`t felt love in his immortal life at all, not even for once.

"I don`t know," Jaebum began, "if this faith will be the same for me." He turned towards Jinyoung and immediately advertised his gaze to the ground, "but I hope I don`t disappoint you." Jinyoung stared wide-eyed as Jaebum searched his mind for more words. "I don`t know what awaits me in the future, but I hope you can fe-" Jaebum stopped on instant.

"Hope what?"

He tried looking in Jinyoungs eyes or at least somewhere, that wasn`t the ground, but as he met the others reddened gaze - courage streamed through him in liters: "I hope you can feel loved."

Jinyoung stared wordlessly and took a notice of the pink color creeping up Jaebum`s cheeks and the tips of his ears. "I`m sorry."

"For what?"

"Everything." He held onto Jaebums hand and before he said anything, they both were back at the side of the car. Jaebum didn`t even notice the short period, in which the ground threatened to drop it`s hold. "I`m sorry for-" He stopped and glanced around - something had caught his attention. "Get in the car."

Jaebum nodded quickly, but as soon as he had stepped away from Jinyoung, he felt a hold snatch him further away from his God.

"I got him!" An unfamiliar voice yelled behind his head as Jaebum had only as much time to glance around and see Jinyoung battling with someone else. "Stop struggling!" The person snarled, but with a swift hit in his ribs, Jaebum broke free from the deadly grip and rushed to Jinyoung.

"No, run!" He yelled, still struggling with his own opponent. "MOVE!"

Pressing the voices, that yelled to help Jinyoung, away, he turned on his heel and dashed further into the woods. He could only use the strength he had saved up and run as fast as he could. The farther he ran, the clearer he could see the trees and his surroundings, till soon he was navigating through the forest like it would be daylight outside. 

"I spy with my little eye~" A voice taunted and Jaebum could hear something way too loud coming at him, his first instinct was to jump away. As he did, a tree landed where he had previously stood. Without a doubt - a huge tree, it's roots still attached - was right where Jaebum had stood.

"A tree?! Are you kidding?!" He yelled at the shadow, running from one spot to another. His attention was on the person following him, so as another tree came flying right at him, he had no time to react. He quickly shielded his face with his arms, crossed in a form of an X. His senses were more alive than they had ever been, he felt every one of his muscles tense up as he stood against the collision from the flying object. The tree broke in half, flying to both sides with a terrible noise. "What the actual~?" 

For a second he had forgotten about the threat hunting on him, he looked at his arms, which didn`t have a single scratch on them. Now he felt how it was. How it was to no longer be human.

He felt what it meant being a _Sin_.

"Too slow." 

And the darkness took the place of his surroundings. Few more seconds and he didn`t even feel anything anymore. Only one thing left on his mind-

_Jinyoung`s gonna be mad._


	6. Familiar yet unknown, unfamiliar yet known

All he could feel was the sheer ravaging of hatred seep in his heart as the first, blurred objects started to form in their places. The recent events had been knocked out of his mind as he laid on the cold ground, rocks and pine-needles digging up in his back through the torn fabric of his shirt. 

"Where~?" He questioned to no one in particular as he stood up and glared up at the sky, partly judging his origin and the still nudging feeling of asking for help to someone higher. The irony.

_Oh, the lighthouse._

Jinyoung picked up his dirty coat and carelessly threw it in the trunk of his car, which quietly stood there as before. 

Right as the attackers had knocked him out completely, he heard the blood-freezing noise of something colliding. Knowing all too well, it was something directed at his Sin. 

Carelessly he made his way into the forest, not paying attention to anything. Not that he really could. 

His nose picked up a particular scent he had hoped of avoiding. Oh, how dearly he fought to keep himself on track, but it was like keeping an animal away from an injured prey. One that's been kept in hunger for way too long.

He had picked up the scent of Jaebum's blood.

The world seemed to fade away in a monotone mix, where all the color got squeezed out and replaced with different shades of darker grays and black. The only thing he saw was a trail of red, like smoke marking a way for him to follow. With his instincts flaring up high, he followed the trail, till he came out in a clearing. 

A minute had to be taken for Jinyoung to calm down or at least attempt to do so. He saw pits, where trees were ruthlessly ripped out of their beds in the ground. He examined the places where they had landed, but what made him grit his teeth in fury was a single tree, lying torn in two with the trail coming right from the pieces. It didn't seem like his Sin had gotten any physical damage from the tree, at least not too much of it, but something had happened nevertheless. Even more, there was blood somewhere in the middle of the two pieces. And that blood, unmistakably, belonged to Jaebum. 

_Time for a hunt._

______________

"I think he`s finally waking up," a voice echoed from a corner of Jaebum`s subconsciousness. He had no idea where he was, only that he had gotten kidnapped. "I already notified the two, they`ll be here in a bit." A streak of warmth kissed the side of his cheek, like a strap of sunlight shining from somewhere.

"Okay," another voice, much closer one, answered, "good." 

When the light broke through the thick veil of his eyelashes, it stung less than he had expected. Also, the surface Jaebum woke up on was much more comfortable than he had expected it to be, given his current situation. "Where~?"

"Keep it quiet, Sin." The first voice snarled back and just about in time with his sudden snarl, he saw the face of the man as well. It wasn`t anyone he recognized, not that he really expected to know his kidnappers. 

So, Jaebum stuck up with examining his surroundings, which were a simple room, with a matters he was sleeping on and the two men sitting in chairs not too far away.

"Don`t attempt anything funny," a man, who had a really deep and smooth voice, also seated closer to him, spoke. The other one had white hair and he looked much more displeased and buff than the deep-voiced one. The one with the deep voice was relaxed in his seat, quietly watching every breath Jaebum took. "We saw your power, so we have carefully chosen the guards that could stand up against you."

"My power?" A shadow of doubt ran across the deep voiced males face, but he quickly replaced it with the mask of carelessness he hid behind before. 

As Jaebum was about to ask something else again, three knocks interrupted his voice and the white-haired one jolted up from his seat on instant. A bit too fast. He seemed to stop for a thought at the door, but as of receiving an answer only directed to him, he stretched his hand to unlock the door. Jaebum gulped as a black **greed s.hw.** bloomed like the darkest, ink flower on the strangers skin. He tried to take his attention elsewhere and, maybe not so luckily, two other men came in. 

"You?!" One of them screeched in obvious displease as he rushed past the write-haired one and the other one he appeared in the room with. "No, no, no, Jooheon, why did you get him?!"

"Kihyun?" Jaebum muttered as soon as he remembered the name of the male, the same one that had threatened him at the party. The same God, because of which Jinyoung had flared up and made him a Sin in the first place. 

"Changkyun, quickly," Kihyun instructed the relaxed looking one, "explain."

"You said to find the Sin and our researches lead to him." He casually answered and stood up as well, without a care in the world. "It was reported he was together with him at Jongmyo and he`s a Sin, so, who else would it be?"

"He`s Park Jinyoung`s Sin," Kihyun deadpanned.

"Park Jinyoungs?!" The male Kihyun had entered with suddenly blurted in the conversation, he obviously had a peck of annoyance in his eyes. "I can`t believe you two..."

"I`ll contact Jackson." Jooheon sighed as he stomped out of the room, but not after receiving a quiet 'thank you' from the man, who`s name Jaebum still didn`t know.

As Jooheon's white hair disappeared in whatever place was secured behind the door, a sigh climbed over the strangers lips, which were pressed in a slight pout. Slowly he went closer to Jaebum`s mattress. 

"I`m really sorry. Looks like we got the wrong person." He tried to press an apologetic smile, but failed instantly. "They miscalculated. I`m Son Hyunwoo, the leader of this bunch. I believe you haven`t met only Minhyuk and Hoseok." Jaebum's mind quickly recalled the initals on Jooheon's hand, tying the white-haired male with the person in front of him.

Jaebum shook his head in understanding. Yet, one thought troubled him, and it wasn`t letting the corners of his mind free: "Changkyun, he said something about Jongmyo," Hyunwoo nodded at him. "The thing is, I was at Jongmyo few weeks ago with three of my friends. Are you," he gulped, "chasing any of them down?"

"We`re not really chasing them down, but we believe they know where one of our Sins is." He sat down on the mattress as visible lines of tiredness traced his face in bold lines. When he had first appeared in the room, it didn`t look that the leader could be so worn out, but, apparently, he was. "Hyungwon, he has gone missing and all the trails lead to your Hyung and the group of his friends."

"But, why?" Jaebum raised his voice dismissively. "They don`t know anything about Gods or Sins, why would they~?"

"Um, sorry, what`s your name?"

"Im Jaebum."

"Jaebum-ah, your Hyung is one of the highest Gods out there, and the two of your friends are strongly connected with their group. Actually, now that I think about it, isn`t someone from your group connected with them as well?"

"Who?"

"One from your group isn`t claimed by neither Jackson or Mark."

"Ah, yeah," Jaebum realized. "Yugyeom`s God, as far as I`ve been told, is someone by the name of Jungkook. My Hyung is what?!" Jaebum yelled out as he finally registered what Hyunwoo had said, something that he refused to accept by every bit. He only replaced the thought with false information. "My Hyung, he wouldn`t be~" He muttered under his chin.

"Bad news!" Jooheon ran into the room. "I contacted Jackson, he said that Jinyoung had picked up his call, but what answered him was more of a bloodthirsty animal than a person!"

They all gulped in unison, Jaebum suddenly feeling the rush in which his heart started pounding. At the first moments of being awake, the awful rush of energy had escaped his notice, but at the mention of Jinyoung`s name, he suddenly realized how much he needed to meet his God again.

"We have to give Jaebum back," Hyunwoo instructed while getting up from the low level of the mattress. "Jaebum," he called out the other. 

"Yeah?" He asked back, half in his thoughts.

"You need to talk to Jinyoung. We`re in no position to handle his anger, please," the leader begged, "help us out."

Not giving it a single thought, he agreed with a nod and got up. 

The bunch of Sins and Gods instructed him outside and of his surroundings. There wasn`t much talk left, mainly because Jaebum was left in fright. In fright of Jinyoung`s hatred.

"On the other hand," Jaebum turned around on his heel and faced, both, Kihyun and Hyunwoo. "It`s your own fault for messing up, so sort your stuff with Jinyoung on your own!"

A shadow of fright ran over Kihyuns face as he paled immediately. "Please say you`re joking. Jaebum, your God is literally the Death itself!"

"So what?! I don`t want to face him when he`s like that as well!"

"Jaebum-ah," Hyunwoo looked over at him with an unreadable expression. There was something in the others eyes that shut him on instant. "You`re his Sin. Why are you scared of him?"

_"A God can see their Sin as the last thing, before they die. I`ve pulled this card for every time, yet," he swallowed hard and turned to Jaebum completely. "None of my Sins had even the slightest bit of regret, pain, anything on their faces. They all, one after one, had worn victorious smirks._

Jaebum flinched as he remembered the pain and despair Jinyoung had allowed him to see. He knew he couldn`t stay away from Jinyoung for too long, for the first time it felt like more than just the sheer need of surviving. He felt more. 

Hyunwoo stood there, observing the debate Jaebum had fallen into. He was a God who could read off everyone around him just by the way they breathed and Jaebum, at the moment, was lost in his head, so deep.

"Hey," he gently grabbed on Jaebums arm, "it`s gonna be alright." 

Jaebum picked his gaze up at the bear-like man, he wore a soft smile and, unconsciously - he found himself smiling back, slightly. "Fine," he gave in, "I`ll get him."

"Okay, do you perhaps know where to find him?" Kihyun peeped from over Hyunwoo`s shoulder. 

A weird, nudging feeling moved in his chest: "Knowing him - he`ll find me in no time. I`ll keep him away from harming you."

The two Gods bowed their heads and turned around for leaving, not before Kihyun shot Jaebum another look: "I`m sorry for what happened at the party."

"Apology accepted." 

The two left his side, leaving confusion and despair tag along. The day was probably nearing somewhere around 2 PM, maybe a bit earlier and just now Jaebum realized how stupid he was. 

"Where the actual fuck am I?" He cursed under his breath as he tucked his head more into the collar of his coat. One had to be dumb enough to let off two kidnappers out of good heart, with no knowledge of his surroundings. 

So, he took another look around the forested area and strolled down the path in front of him. It was a sandy road, which lead to who-knows where. Yet, in a slow place he allowed his mind to wander elsewhere as his legs moved against the hard ground. He looked up at the sun which hang above his head like a light-bulb in a thread. 

Jaebum couldn`t stay in one place waiting for his prince to arrive, that he knew. He looked around in sheer interest, bliss for the first serious walk in a while, taking in the chilly air and the beauty of nature. He hadn`t seen anything alike. A city with so many trees and nature in general. And, somehow he wondered if this place gave off that blood-look in the dark as well. Was it a dream by day and nightmare by night? 

He only stopped his meaningless ponder, when he suddenly saw peaceful waves of water wash right before his foot. 

"Jinyoung," he spoke softly, while gazing at the sea, "I know you can find me. I`m here."

He debated of whether to speak the next sentence out loud. It was probably an affect caused by Hyunwoo`s words, but it didn`t change the tingling as he wanted to let those words slip off his tongue.  _"I need you."_

It was a relief to let that sentence roll out in the open. Like a bird set free it flew up in the sky and disappeared between the few clouds scattered around. His heart picked up it`s pace once more, leaving Jaebum a bit more breathless than he`d like to be. It was like a curse, which held a promise of better days. After it was lived through that is.

"I found you." Jaebum turned around to see Jinyoung few steps away, looking at him with those red eyes of anger. However, as they landed on Jaebum a wave of soft golden color Jaebum had never seen before, took over the cold red. "Are you alright?" Jinyoung`s quiet voice broke in the middle of the question. Wind was trashing up Jinyoung`s soft, black hair, covering his eyes at times, trembling he bit his bottom lip in an attempt to stop a sob or two break through. A small stubble was breaking through his soft skin that glazed golden under the sun. He was still only in the torn shirt, his coat forgotten in the trunk of his car. 

"I am," his voice came out shaky. He took a step forward, then another, till he had already wrapped the God in a hug, in a tight hug, which he felt the need of suddenly. Jaebum cursed in his mind as he felt his heart race even more, the energy not leaving at all. "Jinyoung, I`m sorry, but could you take the energy, I~"

"I already took it."

He froze. There was no way he had taken it. Jaebum`s heart didn`t calm even by a bit while he held the other and Jinyoung held onto him. "I was so worried."

Jinyoung`s voice was muffed by the fabric of Jaebum`s coat, but not a word was left unheard. "I really thought I`d go crazy."

"Missed me that much?" Jaebum chuckled as they both broke the hug, but where Jaebum had expected a playful grin on Jinyoung`s lips, a frown was present instead. "Jinyoung?"

"You were wounded," Jinyoung stated in a stone hard tone. "Only so little of your blood almost made me lose my mind." They stood in silence. "I knew that this was a possible threat, since the first weeks are always rough, but," he took a pause. Jinyoung advertised his gaze sideways, to the rushing waves, almost in guilt of letting his animal-like instincts free. "The lighthouse changed everything."

Jaebum couldn`t muster up an answer. Jinyoung had poured his heart out in Jaebum`s hands, not asking for the same action in return, he had trusted him even tho they both were so screwed up. That`s what Jaebum knew. How spoiled they were and how much they needed someone to repair them.

______________

Jaebum landed in the soft cushions of the sofa, located in the middle of the living room, a dark, wooden table in front and a huge TV behind it. A TV show was playing on it in a language he couldn`t register, so he just let it create some background noise as he closed his eyes for a bit.

Their journey had ended, for now. Arriving at their destination had taken an extra day, because of the misunderstandings Hyunwoo and his squad had created. But, all is well that ends.

Jaebum furrowed his brows as he listened carefully, to the sound of the bath being filled, deep breaths from Jinyoung and the soft pat as he made his way from one corner to another in the bathroom. A cabinet was opened with a slight creak, some more fabrics brushed against each other and the cabinet door being gently closed again. Jinyoung stopped his actions for a moment.

"Stop eavesdropping," Jinyoung mouthed quietly, but, of course, Jaebum heard that. He heard the suppressed chuckle as well, before drawing his attention out of the bathroom and away from the God again.

_This is new_ , he thought. Ever since the lighthouse his senses had sharped by a good fraction, that`s if he concentrated. And, that evening had made a new turning point. Not just because of the confessions, but he really felt it. His previous life slipping away. It was like trying to walk along that beach, where he had ended up at, with a handful of water. The water ran over the edges of his cupped hands and splattered against the sand and his shoes, some more escaped through the places his skin couldn`t press tightly together. And so, only faint dampness was left in the place of what was once enough water for two big gulps. 

It wasn`t a secret - Jaebum had always divided his life in two parts. The part everyone else told him about or "Oh, I remember you used to do that,", "Oh, once you ended up," and the part he remembered himself. Of course, you could divide the second in smaller ones, but he didn`t think anything had been important enough to rip off the rest of his memories. Jinyoung had made him run along the coast, drying even the dampness, he then took Jaebum`s hand and guided him in the opposite direction. The forest that shielded the beach, you may ask? No, the sea. 

Jinyoung had taken Jaebum`s hand and walked right into the waves and as much as Jaebum struggled to stand on his own two legs. He couldn`t so, without Jinyoung.

"Are you still eavesdropping?!" Jaebum heard Jinyoung yell, "you`ve gone suspiciously quiet."

"No, I was just lost in thought," he answered before getting up from the sofa. 

Since there wasn`t much to do, Jinyoung was in the bath, so annoying him wasn't possible. It had just started pouring badly, outside was out of option as well. Then, from a little corner of his subconsciousness, he remembered about the book he had taken from Jinyoung`s huge library. 

He went to his room, which was located on the first floor, far enough to hear if Jinyoung decided to suddenly disturb his peace. He flipped the light-switch on and grabbed his suitcase out of the wardrobe. There, peacefully tucked between the wall of the suitcase and his stuff, was the black, leather-covered book. He took the familiar rectangle in his hands and for the first time examined it carefully. The golden letters of **p.jy.** staring back at him. This time he knew perfectly what they meant, the same initials that were coating his skin forever. Park Jinyoung.

"What do you keep to yourself?" He flipped the book open and stared at the blank pages, nothing was written on the first few paper pieces, but after them - every page was covered in tiny, black letters. He went over what was written there, everything about Sins, there was even the backstory of Jinyoung, which he roughly already knew. However, what caught his attention was the entry under a faded date: _My first sin_.

  


_I left his smothering cage of oppression and domination._

_I don`t want to go into details of the life I had, while carrying the title as his Sin, but those days are finally behind my back._

_I left everything he had done to me as a God of Lost Souls, worst possible God that a man could ever become._

_The initials of pride `p.jy.` had faded and I ran for all my might, with the new word marking the beginning of my new existence._

_A God of Knowledge._

  


_He, of course, wasn`t surprised even by a bit, that I had the title of Knowledge. That the first Goddess of humanity and culture, intelligence and superiority had chosen to grab me under her wing of forgiveness, and give me another chance to strive by allowing me to carry the name._

_He was almost expecting me to end up like that, but I knew it too. I read it once in a book, that Knowledge will defeat his lust for power and greed. I would be flattering myself, if I said he feared me._

  


_So, on the way out and into the city, which once belonged to my family - I finally felt free. I met a nice guy there, Chan. I was few hours a God, but what I knew from the sudden knowledge I gained, he had nowhere to go, so I did what he had once engraved on a wooden plank. A wish for a God, to help him get out of the slums he was born a part of. My skills got us both a roof and food, till soon we were no longer in the dumps. He found out about me one day when an elder was trying to order him around, mistaking him for a slave. I summoned the Forest of Souls by accident, another thing I took from my God, and made the old fool a part of it._

_Chan didn`t hold even a bit of fright as he bowed in front of me and started muttering sentences of thankfulness and gratefulness. He thanked me for taking him over, even if I was a God, for giving him a chance and then - I made him my Sin. Deep down I had made an oath to myself and on behalf of my future Sins, that I will not repeat the mistakes of my God._

  


_Oh, how much faith had hated me. I only learned it when it was too late._

  


_I was put in a situation of Death and Life, and I saw him, Chan, for the last time through the eyes of wind, through the eyes of whatever small creature was near him._

_He felt me leaving the world and new power, that was once mine, flow through his veins. My hard work had transferred to him, so easily. He smiled and muttered the last farewell to me, a farewell that froze my blood like the deepest and coldest winter ever possible for a mankind. Like the winter few years ago that swept away a third of our people._

_I got myself together and gave his life for mine, earning new sensation of hatred. Chan disappeared and I have never seen him again. Till this day, 11th September of 1899., I still don`t know what happens to the Sins you give in for your life._

  


_I lived on. That`s what happened with me, but without a Sin to stand by my side as a token of superiority._

_One had to come one day, like they did for every God._

_A Sin that would erase the hatred that had blossomed in my chest like the hugest hogweed and poisoned my blood with it`s poisonous sap. When that Sin arrives in my life, I will make sure to put them through Hell and back, to see if they still stand by my side even after such measures._

_  
_

Jinyoung opened the door to Jaebum`s room, he knew the other had fallen asleep. His even breaths gave that away. He stood in the doorway for a bit, leaning against the aisle as he observed the way Jaebum`s hair was covering his forehead, the way he had fallen asleep while reading a book. The hem of his white shirt had partly exposed the side of his tanned skin. 

He narrowed his eyes at he black rectangle, gripped tightly in Jaebum`s hands.

"I was wondering where had it gone," Jinyoung sighed. He carefully made his way towards the messed bed, where Jaebum was passed out on peacefully and took the book away. "What a nice bedtime story you chose." He could make out which page had Jaebum read, but it didn`t necessarily bother him either. Jaebum was his Sin and he had the rights to know all of Jinyoung`s previous life. Well, a part of it. 

Jinyoung flipped through the pages and stopped at one that read _The Day_. "It's not the time for you to find this out yet."

He neared the window that was illuminating the bed and sat on the windowsill, watching the rain flood the ground. With Jaebum`s breaths in the background, for the first time in this week, he fell into a light sleep himself.


	7. The Cat Town

By the time Jeabum woke up and opened his eyes to constant raining, Jinyoung was long gone. Yet, he knew that Jinyoung had stayed the night at his room. He could blame the feeling on the fact that his borrowed book was nowhere to be found, but, if speaking honestly, he just knew. Throughout the night, he felt Jinyoung being close, it was something indescribable. Like a thunderstorm appearing from nowhere. The sky is clear and suddenly - lightning strikes out of nowhere, it leaves you weary, emptied. Because you`ve given all of you to that exact moment, when the lightning strikes, and afterwards you`re left an empty shell. In an empty echo you stay still afterwards.  _Scratch that_.  


Jinyoung was nothing like that. He was sudden, like the storm, but he was a storm that left Jaebum filled up to the brink. He never felt empty when Jinyoung was around. Be it good or bad - no part was empty.

And so, throughout the night, he could hear the others breathing. At first he pushed it on his imagination. Yet, after the morning came, the pit-pat of Jinyoung's bare foot, gave him away as he exited Jaebum`s room.

The ceiling stared back at Jaebum a bit more cheerful than usually, and he wondered, was it because they had a lighter atmosphere around each other or because a wonderful smell was seeping through the door and his stomach was awfully empty? Lazily he dragged himself to the bathroom and brushed his teeth and took a quick shower. He changed in clean sweatpants and a white shirt. His touch lingered on the soft material as a small smile crept up his lips.

Jaebum had found the shirt, seemingly innocently laying around on the hanger with few towels, and taken it out of habit, assuming it`s his. However, just a second with the fabric in his hold and he knew better than ever - it wasn`t his. He pressed the shirt to his face and inhaled deeply. Slowly, to savoir the moment in his head. It was that familiar scent Jinyoung had, however this time the shirt didn`t hold the deepness of a rainy forest, and he wondered, if it could be because Jinyoung hadn`t been spending his time at the forest so much. The shirt actually held only a little glimmer of the scents it had before, yet, there was something new. A rather sweet smell to it. And, as much he struggled, he couldn`t tie it to Jinyoung at all. He realized only afterwards, that it was his own scent, intertwining with Jinyoungs.

The smile still lingering on his lips he finally got the shirt over his head and straightened it out at sides. Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he noticed how well-rested he actually looked. The lines of sleepless nights and fear were gone, back at him were staring eyes with a hint of spark that used to be drowned in the brown orbs. Drowned even bofre Jinyoung. He ran his hand through his soft, brown locks and grimaced at his reflection. Jaebum hated the color. It wasn`t the beautiful black, which Jinyoung had, nor was it a rich brown that glistened in the sun. It was something inbetween and looked rather dull. In his eyes at least. 

"Time to change that," Jaebum blurted out before leaving the bathroom. 

"Time to change what?" Jinyoung asked as Jaebum finally made his way into the kitchen. A bit too proudly, the God placed a plate filled with pancakes and a bowl of fruit in front of Jaebum. "Sorry, I just heard you say it, I didn`t have much to put my mind on while I was cooking."

"It`s fine," Jaebum answered. He stuffed a bite in his mouth and sighed in bliss.

"Good?"

"I don`t think you can describe it with simple good." Jinyoung smiled wider while observing Jaebum gobble up the pancakes, like a hungry animal. 

Jinyoung sat opposite from Jaebum and ate his food as well. The two were done almost at the same time, seeing as Jaebum had struggled with the last bits of fruit. 

"So," Jinyoung started, "you still didn`t answer the question."

Jaebum raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"What needs to be changed?"

"Oh," he perked up, red slightly tinting his cheeks as he pondered over his silly thoughts. "It`s nothing," yet the expression Jinyoung had, said he`s having no ways around. "Fine," Jaebum sighed. "I want to dye my hair."

"Why?" Jinyoung had never really understood why most humans decided to do so at times. They were given their natural looks for a reason, yet most of them always chose to discard them and change. For seemingly better. It had always been like that, long ago, even before he was a God.

"I hate it," Jaebum looked away. He could feel the tips of his ears getting hotter by the second, so the blush was probably even worse on his cheeks. 

"Your undercut is also growing out," Jinyoung marked while grabbing the plates and other dishes. Jaebum stood up and helped to clean up. "Do you plan to cut it back short?"

"No," he rushed pass Jinyoung and started washing the dishes. "Just to dye the top part."

Jinyoung sat back by the table and observed his Sin do the dishes. He placed his chin on his hand, a habit while pondering over something. "I think a reddish-brown would look good."

"Huh?" Jaebum turned his head sideways a bit, surprised that Jinyoung was still keeping his mind on the silly statement. 

"We could go buy the hair dye after you`re done with the dishes," he suggested. "We won`t get to a hairdresser in this town without signing up first." 

"Are you sure?"

Jinyoung nodded: "After we take a walk around. I want to go exploring."

"Sure."

Shortly after Jaebum was done with the dishes, they both got dressed and went on a little trip across the town. The familiar scent of the sea was gone, it seemed like they were far away from it, yet trees were still the main part of their surroundings. Jaebum found himself wondering if any of the people living here actually had seen a busy city or a skyscraper. Maybe they were all stuck in this paradise of nowhere, minding their own lives and purposely ignoring the outside word. Worrying only about their garden of security and peace. 

Few people ran past them on a morning jog as they made their way more into the city, and you could see that some life was even here. People walking dogs, moms laughing as their children excitedly blabbered in the foreign language and their own broken one, friends were walking around while laughing, and lovers. Lovers, hand in hand, with pink dusting their smile covered faces, were strolling down the streets, forgetting about the world as they gaze in each others eyes. No one really rushed anywhere, which was a huge difference between this place and Korea. 

Jaebum followed Jinyoung as they walked inside a building, where apparently a small store was located. They walked to the shelve with hair-dyes and stopped at the seemingly poor selection. Another huge difference with his home country. 

"It`s not a lot here, but enough," Jinyoung said as he moved to the different browns. "Besides it`s a celebration here, so not a lot of shops are open."

"We don`t have to do this though," Jaebum spoke quietly as he observed Jinyoung.

The other was currently choosing between lighter and darker colors. "How about this one?" He showed the carton box with the color on it. 

Jaebum had no idea. It was a bit too red for his liking, but the color itself was rather pretty: "I was thinking more of a black," he trailed off.

"Nope," Jinyoung smiled, his eyes adorably squeezing in tiny slits. "We`re not having the same hair color. Besides, it won`t be as vibrant in your hair."

"Yeah, but, who will dye it if the hair salons are closed?" Jaebum crossed his arms, winning the argument.

"Me, of course!" And Jaebum`s tough image crumbled on the ground as Jinyoung happily strolled pass him and to the cash-register. 

With an unreadable mix of tiredness and complete annoyance, Jaebum followed the over-cheerful God without saying a word anymore. He wondered if this was really true, not a dream. Maybe he was still laying unconscious, somewhere. Being kidnapped by someone else, not Hyunwoo and his squad, which were probably one of the nicest Sins and Gods, after you got to know them. Maybe one of those Gods, similar to Jinyoung`s first God, had caught him and he just couldn`t wake up. So, his mind made up an illusion of Jinyoung to ease the pain and fright. 

He mindlessly followed Jinyoung outside the small store, and they went in a different direction. 

_Why? Why would my mind make an illusion of Jinyoung?_ He couldn`t describe the rushed doubt that had taken a part in his swirl of emotions, it was sudden and foreign. He watched Jinyoung`s lips move, forming words his mind didn`t register. He observed how his bangs jumped when they were walking down the narrow path to nowhere, how Jinyoung`s eyes glistened in the sun as he continued talking. 

Was he really here? This really could`ve been some sort of a shielding mechanism to keep himself away from the bitter reality. 

Maybe he didn`t survive the first week or was on the brink of dying, his heart ripping in sheds as it banged against his chest and over-worked. 

Jinyoung had always been distant, even when seemingly taking care of Jaebum - there was not a glint of care, trust in his eyes. He did everything, because he had to, as a God. He didn`t hold any hopes when Jaebum got lost in his forest and came to him as a new option for this life, he didn`t have a glint of sympathy in his eyes as he made Jaebum his Sin. Basically marked someone as his. His voice wasn`t even a tiny bit soft, when Jaebum was practically dying on the bed of his room, the first wave of energy knocking him down. When their lips had parted, not even then Jinyoung held a bit of emotion that showed - he cared. Would it really be different now?

So, maybe, really - this wasn`t real. None of it was and Jaebum`s mind had made this place up, with a seemingly better Jinyoung, as a longing. Replacement for the pain.

"Jaebum?" He finally focused his attention on Jinyoung and their surroundings. A clearing, with broken, stone steps leading to a stone platform, which lead to a beautiful view of mountains. They stood on a hill, that displayed a river, creeping around the forested hills like a snake. Of course, another forest. Maybe he was dying in Jinyoung`s forest, so this place resembled it. "Jaebum!" Suddenly his face was taken in two warm hands as Jinyoung moved his thumbs under Jaebum`s eyes. "Why are you crying?"

"Crying?" He croaked out in a broken tone, finally noticing the tiny pecks of pain from tears. "Sorry, I didn`t notice I was," Jaebum tried to pull away from the other.

"Why?" Jinyoung, however, persistently kept bending down and twirling, only to catch Jaebum`s broken gaze in his. "Jaebum," he worded softly, which caused the other to break into another set of tears. Jinyoung's lips were pressed in a pout as he wrapped his hands around the Sin and rubbed soothing circles on his back. "It`s okay, I`m here."

That was everything Jaebum had to hear. Yet, stupidly, he still asked: "Are you really?"

It drove a laugh from Jinyoung as he broke the hug and looked into Jaebum`s eyes again: "Where else would I be? I will always be with you."

"Okay."

"Jaebum," he smiled, "whatever is on your mind - it`s not true. I`m here."

"This is just too good."

"Then get used to it," with doubts in his head, Jinyoung softly pressed his lips against Jaebum`s. His lips barely lingered on Jaebum`s, afraid to scare the other away, so suddenly. He noticed how Jaebum finally relaxed, whatever had made it`s way into his head was gone now as he leaned closer to deepen the kiss. There wasn`t much, the spark of the first kiss was already gone between them, yet, they both had to admit - second, third or fourth kiss - didn`t leave their hearts steady exactly, as well. Jaebum`s hands wondered to Jinyoung`s sides as he held onto the God for some support, being a bit too dizzy in their current situation. Jinyoung moved one of his hands to the back of Jaebum`s head and tangled his fingers in his soft locks, the other wrapping around his waist. 

With a last drag of a deeper kiss they drove apart, breathing heavily and staring into each others eyes, searching for words that didn`t leave their mouths. 

"Ah," Jaebum didn`t really know what to say. His head was wiped clean of any doubts or other rational thoughts.

"Up for a dinner?" Jinyoung cheerfully smiled. There. Right then and there - Jaebum saw the emotions he had longed to see or hopelessly feel on that night, when Jinyoung had kissed him to draw out the energy. The emotions, they were like a flash of a camera. Quick, left you blinded, but without pressing certain buttons - wouldn`t appear anymore. 

He was fine with it.

As long as it was real and reflected the depths of Jinyoung`s soul from time to time - Jaebum was okay to be blinded like that.

"Sure," Jaebum answered.

As they left, a certain yellow-streaked bird sat on one of the branches, frozen in observation. Jinyoung looked behind, brows furrowed as he noticed the pest. 

_Ah, I must've called the forest out on accident_ , he lauged. _This also explains Jaebum's sudden change. The pest dared to temper with my Sins emotions~_

  


That day none of them felt like cooking, plainly because it would mean more shared hours together. They both knew that attachment too strong would only cause harm later. 

Water fits perfectly with fire, day with night, light with dark and so many more opportunities. The two of them were like fire. Where one had fire, deep in the depths of his heart, the other couldn`t do anything to ease it out. Only flare it up more. That could lead to fire that was warm and united and continued to warm their souls together or to complete destruction. Worsen the state and burn all the paths back. 

They were afraid the second option would apply to their case. 

After few more hours of walking around and Jinyoung telling the history of this forgotten country, they finally wondered to a small cafe. Which was technically in the center of the city, but no one counted it as one anymore, because the city had some newer buildings, which were now consitered the center. That Jinyoung could tell about as well. Obviously there wasn`t any Korean food, since it was a small cafe that didn`t go specifically into other countries cultures, but, even so, Jaebum found himself enjoying the food nevertheless. Jinyoung didn`t look too fazed by the change, which Jaebum could only assumes was due to him living far worst in the past.

"Sorry," Jinyoung suddenly muttered, "I should`ve cooked back at the house. I know you don`t really enjoy eating this type of food."

"We haven`t even talked about it," Jaebum wiped his mouth in a napkin. "How do you know?"

Jinyoung`s lips turned in a cheeky grin: "Entry nr.5. Today I went to another country with my mom and dad."

"Oh, no," Jaebum groaned whilst hiding his face in his hands.

"I hate this food! I wish to go back home and empty 100 bowls of jjajangmyun or ramyeon," Jinyoung watched amused as Jaebum`s head dropped on the table with a thud.

"Stop it," he whined.

"I might as well starve while on this trip!"

"You`re a monster," Jaebum`s insult was muffled as Jinyoung continued laughing. He had known this for a while now, so the worst laugh was laughed off long ago. 

As they finally finished eating, it was already getting dark outside. Winter period wasn`t really nice as most of the time it was dark, even more, clouds had suddenly emerged from a corner - looked like from North - and the sky was much darker than usually.

Jaebum had no idea where he was nor how far their house was, but he didn`t mind walking. Even tho that`s all that they had done for the whole day. The lights weren`t illuminating the streets yet and it was even more peaceful than it had been before. Like everyone had disappeared while they were eating, but the lights in the houses and apartments gave away their cozy hiding. 

In silence that rang from their souls, rather than the lack of words, they strolled down the deserted streets. They felt like teared away from the rotating reality, in their own world, where a mark tied them to each other. Jinyoung never admitted, that under his own mark **knowledge** he had tiny **wrath i.jb.** written as a reminder. 

Soon enough the lights lit up and they got teared out of their minds. Soon enough their house appeared behind a turn, shielded by a bow of trees and high gates. Shielded from eyes that could pray them away from each other.

After they had settled down, put their coats and other stuff away, Jinyoung barged into Jaebum`s room with childish loudness.

"Oh, Jaebummie~" Jaebum froze at the nickname, which went unnoticed to Jinyoung. "Time to dye your hair," he waved the shiny package. 

Jaebum stood up from his bed with a sigh and followed Jinyoung into the bathroom. "Come here," he patted a chair and took out the tubes and other contents from the box. Jaebum obligated and sat on the chair, his back at the sink, besides a Jinyoung who was mixing everything in a bowl and humming lightly to himself. 

"So, just the top part, not touching the undercut?" Jinyoung asked as he put on the plastic gloves and took a brush.

"Can you even manage that?"

"Oh, please," Jinyoung started applying the hair dye in Jaebum`s hair.

He had to admit, it was a pity Jaebum wanted to get rid of this color, but at the same time, he felt pretty excited to see Jaebum with the new hair color as well. He carefully put the hair dye in his hair, being cautious to not get it on the shaved parts. He had always noticed how soft Jaebum`s hair was. Not only it looked soft, it actually was, unlike his own. For some reason, even tho if Jinyoung`s own hair looked soft, it wasn`t. Yet, he didn`t sulk over it too much, it was just hair. 

He placed Jaebum`s hair so it could peacefully dye and not stain anything else. "Is that my shirt?"

"Mine."

"I can`t believe you didn`t change into something else," Jinyoung groaned. "What if it gets stained?"

"It`s mine."

"No, it`s not."

"It is ever since you gave it to me."

Jinyoung stared at Jaebum, who had his head against the sink, eyes closed as he muttered back the remarks at Jinyoung. Oh, how he wanted to bend down and kiss those lips, besides he knew damn well that Jaebum had just stored up the energy that could come off as uncomfortable. 

He shook his head and went to get rid of the trash and put everything in their belonging places. 

Jaebum opened his eyes and let out a shaky exhale when the other had left. He didn`t realize that he was holding his breath during those few seconds of tensed silence. This was definitely real, no doubts anymore. He pressed away the urge to run a hand through his hair in frustration. 

Had he hoped that Jinyoung would lean down to peck his lips again? Definitely. More than he`d like to admit, actually. 

The new emotions he had developed were too sudden and too tensed. He didn`t even fully realize, why they had suddenly emerged. He was sure he hated Jinyoung. _Right?_

Or did it all change. It probably did, giving that he had expected a kiss from the God. 

"What are you thinking about?"

"Mh?" He didn`t even notice when Jinyoung came back. He was leaning against the door frame, hands crossed upon his chest. A posture he was often found at. 

"You only do that," he motioned at Jaebum, "when you are lost in your own little mind."

"I do?"

"Yeah," he came into the bathroom and closed the door. "You turn all quiet, your breathing getting shallow as you stare at one spot. I could assume you`re just daydreaming, but knowing you - you`re probably trying to sort thoughts or emotions that are giving you no peace."

"You know too much."

"I don`t," Jinyoung sighed. He sat beside Jaebum on the floor and placed his head in the others lap. Jaebum couldn`t help, but to tense at the touch. "It`s like I know everything, but nothing at the same time."

Jaebum answered with an approving hum. He couldn`t really answer with anything else, he didn`t know how Jinyoung felt. He wasn`t given the gift of knowing everything there was to know. 

He stared at Jinyoung`s glistening hair and lowered one of his hands on his head. Slowly he buried his hands in the Gods hair and ran them through it slowly. Surprisingly, it wasn`t as soft as it looked like. He was expecting a silky sensation as he ran his fingers through Jinyoung`s dark locks, but they were rather stiff and rough. 

Jinyoung let out a suppressed moan, fully enjoying the sensation of Jaebum`s gentle fingers running through his hair. 

They sat like that forever, till, almost like awakening from a deep slumber, Jinyoung slowly pulled away. "Let`s wash out the dye. I don`t want to damage your hair any longer."

"It will grow back," Jaebum smiled as Jinyoung checked the water temperature. 

"Yeah," he dragged Jaebum's head back, "but it takes time."

"We have all the time in the world," Jaebum mumbled.

_I wish._

Jinyoung washed out the dye, then put shampoo in the others hair and conditioner. "I could almost believe it`s not your first time," Jaebum remarked with a laugh.

"It`s not," he chuckled. "Ah, sh," he kept shut.

"What?"

"The undercut dyed as well, but it`s a darker color," Jinyoung explained as he suddenly dumped a towel on Jaebum`s head. "Dry it, I`ll go find a hair-dryer."

After they were done with blow-drying Jaebum`s hair, Jinyoung had yet another smirk on his lips . "Well, this looks rather nice," he ran a hand through Jaebum`s hair. 

Jaebum turned around and looked in the mirror. He liked it, a lot. The shade nicely contrasted with his tanned skin, he could finally say that he liked it. After all the times he had unsuccessfully dyed his hair and ended up with the plain brown, not once something looked so nice on him. 

"It looks too nice," Jinyoung added to his previous comment. "Well, good that it`s all mine."

Jaebum only answered with a laugh. He got used to that statement - Jinyoung calling him his - by now. He turned his gaze downwards and stuck against the letters on Jinyoung`s delicate skin. He reached out and took the others hand in his, bringing it closer to his eyes. "I didn`t know you also had my name on your skin."

"Nothing is one-sided in this world."

Jaebum had a warm smile as he glanced up at Jinyoung: "nice to know."

"Let`s go to sleep," Jinyoung softly added, "it`s late."

Jaebum nodded and left the bathroom after Jinyoung. He walked back in his room, somewhat expecting a half-asleep Jinyoung on his bed or at least on the windowsill. But, he wasn`t there. He had no idea, why he felt a bit empty after realizing that Jinyoung wasn`t in the room. Had he really expected the others presence close to him tonight as well? 

Something like kept back confessions between their intertwined fingers as they slept, side by side and gazed in each other's eyes.

Something like the heath of two lips pressed together in warm promises of better days, of security and warmth no one could steal out of their little world.

He had hoped for that, like a love-sick fool, that had only read about it in books and was suddenly faced with the actual thorns love offered. Yet, he didn't mind. He would take the thorns and kiss them till his lips bled, till he knew that tomorrow would still hold the promises made today.

But all he received was the coldness of an empty bed and cold sheets. Jaebum had never noticed how cold the sheets actually were at night.

He sighed and fell on his bed, legs dangling over the side as he stared at the ceiling.

_Again._

 


	8. As a whole

Next morning came sore and rough. Like a stream of cold water had seeped in Jaebum`s body and made it impossible to move as much as just to breathe. He could feel the energy picking up from the depths of his body, when he had finally woken up. 

Something held him off.

Beads of sweat ticked down his forehead in a rush as he struggled to take a breath, but he didn`t call for Jinyoung. That was probably one of the worst decisions he could`ve ever made. 

"Why aren`t you calling for me?" Jinyoung`s voice judged him from the room above and, if Jaebum closed his eyes for a second, he could almost imagine the look of disapproval in the Gods eyes. "I can hear you having struggles with breathing."

"I can`t," Jaebum croaked out, managed to push those two words over his lips. 

"What do you mean," he could tell Jinyoung was pissed, "can`t?"

Jaebum struggled to keep himself on the line: "I don`t know."

Only silence served for an half-assed answer, then some footsteps and suddenly, Jinyoung was already in his room. Jaebum still couldn't do anything. His body was almost like paralized, he couldn't call for his God no matter what.

"It`s my fault," he sat on the bedside. Jinyoung's fingers slowly wrapped around Jaebum`s burning, curled-up fists. The relieved sigh was enough to make Jinyoung smile warmly: "better?"

Jaebum nodded without another word.

 

 

It was the sixth day in this city of abandonment. Their days were advancing slowly, but warmer than they ever had, and Jaebum found himself not wanting to leave this cavern of bliss. He had gotten to know the neighboring family, living in the house next to theirs. Even tho the conversations could only happen between the married couples daughter and him, in broken English, none the less, it all made a point of sincerity no one else had offered him before. 

He thought about the longing feeling of wanting to stay here forever again as he watched some birds and whatnot from the second floor terrace. Time had vanished once again. Everything, in fact, except for him and Jinyoung, had disappeared. Discarded in a dump of unwanted toys. 

They had to leave tomorrow evening or early morning after two days, leave from the peaceful island, where he could feel like himself. He didn`t know what would happen or how things would turn out, after everyone`s eyes are on them once again. Jaebum didn`t know what to expect. 

His eyes landed on a bird, sitting in a leafless apple-tree, not too far away from the terrace. The bird looked almost like the one that had visited him whilst they were in the hotel. Except, the steak on this birds neck was slightly blue-ish.

"Ah, so you must really habit here," Jaebum stood up and approached the end of the terrace. He leaned against the railing and smiled softly. "I saw a similar bird to you a while ago, one with a blonde streak." The bird flew besides Jaebum. He watched amazed as the little friend jumped up and down. "Sorry, I don`t understand," he gulped. Almost as of fearing to hear a voice from the bird again. 

They stared at each other for a while, but nothing happened. It seemed like a regular bird. "It must be nice living such a careless life," he sighed. "I don`t even know where I belong anymore." The bird maintained still, while listening. It was scary, how human-like it felt talking with it. Maybe the isolation was making him go crazy. "I guess nothing really surprises me anymore, so talking with a bird isn`t that weird as well." Jaebum`s chest shook in bitter laugh. His mind was poisoned and he knew. Knew so damn well. But, there weren`t any pills, any magic spell to cure it. "It feels like I belong by Jinyoung, but at the same time – I don`t. We can`t stay here, but returning to Korea would only mean more pain. I don`t want to let go of the Jinyoung I saw during these days," his voice came out more broken than he had intended to show. "Besides, I miss my so-called Maknae, who forced me to call him one, even tho we`re only a year apart. I miss my Hyung and," he swallowed a huge lump, growing bigger by every second. 

Jaebum rested his head against his folded hands, whilst cold continued to shower his skin in freezing kisses. His fingers had already gone numb. "I don`t know anymore, little friend," a bitter smile formed on his lips. "I don`t know. I just wish for someone to tell me - which way to go." A shaky breath filled his lungs. "Hyunwoo told that my Hyung has something to do with this world, no, that all three of them have. They have always been a part of this world, while I lived on the other side. Blind. I don`t want to see them." More of emotions Jaebum couldn`t explain bit down his spine as he bit away the tears. Just like couple of days ago - he wasn`t feeling or acting like himself at all. He knew he wasn`t, but he blamed it on all of the sudden news he got. 

"We`re leaving," Jinyoung`s rough voice suddenly interrupted from behind. Jaebum turned his head sideways, but the bird was already gone. Without a sound. 

"What? Why?" Despite the rising confusion, Jaebum still followed Jinyoung inside, where all of their stuff already stood packed. "Jinyoung?"

"The higher Gods are just about done with papers to get into this country," he rubbed his forehead frustrated. "I don`t know, how they found out, but they signed a paper regarding this few hours ago."

"Where were you sooner?" Jaebum grabbed onto his suitcase and dragged it outside, a part of him, tied in strings, staying behind in the house. "It`s better to leave before anything bad happens, I don`t want to," _lose you._

Not a sound came for an answer. He looked back to see Jinyoung, standing in the same spot as before, hand on the handle of the suitcase as his knuckles were slowly turning white. Jinyoung`s eyes held everything and nothing at the same time, like a glass that had a prisoner locked up on the other side. "They put on a spell or something, so I wouldn`t be able to read the document off," his words made the way out of his lungs, but the emotions were clogged up, somewhere in the middle of his throat. 

"It`s fine," Jaebum smiled, "we can still make it in time to Korea, without any complications."

"I know," yet he still didn`t move.

What had happened - Jaebum couldn`t make out, so he approached the God and carefully placed his hand on the others freezing one. "Jinyoung, what happened?"

For the first time in days, it seemed like Jinyoung showed some raw emotions. Maybe Jaebum was blinded by the veil of seemingly true smiles, that he didn`t notice the despair on the other side of it: "how much do you hate me, Jaebum?" To say that he wasn`t ready for a question like that... 

"Hate you?" Jaebum furrowed his brows in confusion.

"I took everything from you, I made you suffer, so - how much, exactly, do you hate me?" Jinyoung`s eyes didn`t hold any of the warmth he had gotten used to seeing. This was what he feared. The old Jinyoung returning, when they had to make their way back to Korea. He recognized that stare better than anything. After all, so many nights he had seen it in nightmares haunting on him. 

"Whatever you`re doing now," Jaebum`s own voice sounded distant and dark, " _stop it._ "

"I asked you a question," Jinyoung jerked away in anger. 

"Right now?" He asked back, only earning another stare from Jinyoung, not an answer. _I don`t, I can`t hate you, at all._  "More than ever."

Jinyoung pulled on his suitcase and bumped into Jaebum`s shoulder on the way out: "good."

 

 

They were back in Korea before Jaebum could even blink. His heart ached in sorrow and regret as his own foreign voice had said those words to Jinyoung. It truly didn`t feel like himself. Most of all - he was confused, by no means had he actually meant what was spoken in their house of Isolation. 

Yet, he couldn`t find the courage to speak about it as well. So, he remained half-sleeping in the backseat. 

"We`re off to pick Yugyeom, so get out," Jinyoung mumbled and without a spare glance got out of the car. Jaebum followed him, still half-asleep, with long, dragging steps. They stepped at a mansion seemingly just as huge as the one where Jackson, Mark and the rest of their Sins lived. 

Jinyoung knocked on the enormous, wooden door and it opened on instant, where not a too cheerful face greeted them two: "ah, Jinyoung." The man who opened the door suddenly noticed Jaebum, like he had no idea that he was there the whole time besides Jinyoung and gaped. "He`s your Sin...?"

"Yes," Jinyoung answered before Jaebum could say anything.

The man stepped away from the door: "come in."

The two ended up in the living room, waiting for Yugyeom to take his ass downstairs and head home.

"I don`t want to," the Maknae whined, so loud even the two could hear it. "Jin-hyung just began to cook!"

"Well, if Jinyoung didn`t look like he is supposed to kill a man and sell his kidney 100 times, you could stay over for dinner, but he won`t appreciate Hyungs cooking anyways," another voice rambled when the Maknae finally decided to appear.

"Yah!" Another person yelled, after which loud footsteps echoed close-by. "Who is not going to like m~" He stared at Jinyoung and Jaebum, like a deer caught in headlights. 

"Hyung?" Jaebum`s breath caught in his lungs as they both just stared at one another.

"Come, let`s go, leave them for a moment," the man that had opened the door dragged Jinyoung away.

"What`s with the shouting?" Two heads poked from a door behind him, and - again, more tears threatened to spill. "Hyung?!"

_We`re just a year apart, when will you stop calling me that_ , Jaebum sighed in his head, but only managed to cover up with a smile. 

"Hyung?" His tone was filled with tears that begged to be released. "Hyung, is that you?" Jaebum glanced over his shoulder as he came face to face with his two beloved friends. "That's why you were gone?" The younger spoke, his voice shaken with tears. "You were gone for so long." Hoseok kept quiet as Jimin continued talking. "Jaebum-ssi?" Jaebum practically broke as his Hyung suddenly appeared behind the two as well. "The Jongmyo shrine, you left, because you had a deal with a God?"

"It wasn`t," Jaebum began to explain, but Jimin was having no delays in their conversation. 

"Hyung?" Jimin took Jaebum`s hand and turned it up. The black 'Wrath' pressed in his skin unforgivably. "P.jy." He growled. "Park Jinyoung marked you?!" He yelled out in anger. 

"I'm sorry, Jaebum-ah. I should've protected you better." Jin shot him an sorrowful look.

"Yes, you should've." Jinyoung suddenly appeared as he took Jaebums hand in his with a glare, earning a growl from Jimin. "Pest," he growled through gritted teeth. "How did you get out of the forest?" He sneaked his hand around Jaebum`s waist protectively. 

"I really underestimated you," Jimin crossed his hands upon his chest. "You didn`t tell me your name at the hotel anyway."

Jaebum couldn`t really catch up with the conversation, he was left breathless with Jinyoung`s burning touch wrapping around him like a dangerous snake. 

"Your God," Jinyoung worded, "Yoongi, was it?" His eyes held some unspoken curses. "He`s been following us the whole time, which makes me think - you didn`t get out before earlier today."

"How do you know it`s Yoongi-hyung, you~"

"Jaebum`s been behaving weird," he looked at the Sin and smiled. "It took me a while to realize," they maintained eye-contact while Jinyoung spoke. "Yoongi was able to temper with human emotions," Jinyoung turned back to Jimin.

Nothing else was said, Jeabum focused on his hearts rigid beating. He couldn`t prevent any of this from happening, because another God was tied in, without him knowing. The words, that seemingly were said from his heart, were created by another influence after all. 

"We will take our leave now," Jinyoung exclaimed. Yugyeom was immediately besides them as he took a cautious step back. Jinyoung was radiating off a certain aura, one that no one, except Jaebum, could stop or bare to tolerate. 

"Jaebum!" Hoseok spoke up for the first time ever since he had appeared. A warm smile formed on his lips in a pleasant heart-shape, reminding Jaebum of someone who could battle with the Sun for the title of the brightest. "Don`t forget us," his eyes screamed of sadness. "Now you know, so, maybe come to visit one day with Gyeom!"

"Agreed," Jin smiled softly. 

"Just don`t take that," Jimin motioned at Jinyoung with his finger, "with you." 

Jaebum chuckled in amusement. "He`s my God, Jimin." The smile faded from his eyes, but he still held it on his lips. "Someone, who, despite not spending years with me, was true and didn`t hide behind a wall of lies."

 

 

"JAEBUM!" Two bodies flung themselves at Jaebum when they entered the mansion.

"JINYOUNG!" Another two ripped the God away. 

Both of the Gods were yelling words of nonsense as they attacked Jaebum with love and well-wishes of returning. 

The two Sins, on the other hand, were full on dumping their love on Jinyoung, knowing better than ever of how much he hated it. Nothing made them feel better than to see Jinyoung struggling and getting drowned in their love. 

"Youngjae-ah, BamBam-ah," Jinyoung made sure his voice sounded extra dark. "I was just thinking that my forest needs some more trees."

"Nice to see you, Hyung," BamBam said as a `matter of the deal` said and immediately stepped back.

"Yeah, you look better," Youngjae stepped away from Jinyoung to join besides BamBam. "Have you rested well?"

Jackson was brushing Jaebum`s hair in a mess: "Woaah, Jaebum-ah, your hair looks so damn chick, I can`t stop using that word on you. But, real chick. Did you go to a hairdresser?"

"Ah, n-no," Jaebum, unlike Jinyoung, had no idea how to deal with the two Gods on his own.

"Ohh," Mark wiggled his eyebrows with an all-knowing smirk. "It`s like you two went on a Honeymoon. How was it?"

"H-Honeymoon?" 

"Yah, shoo!" Jinyoung prayed Jaebum away from the two laughing Gods. "You two really are too much! I almost sent your Sins to my pet-forest, yet you were obsessing over mine!"

Mark`s white teeth shone with another all-knowing message: "It`s not every day Jaebum dyes his hair."

"Or that a stone cold God~" Jackson flung the back of his hand to his forehead with an over-dramatic tone in his voice. "Opens up his heart for a long-time love!"

"Oh, Jackson!" Mark yelled in a tone, similarly as dramatic and put his hands against the others chest and gazed in Jackson`s eyes tenderly. "Dye my hair!"

"What the actual fuck?" Jaebum cursed under his breath, not expecting anything like that, from two men... No, two Gods, who have been living for who-knows how long.

"Get used to it," Jinyoung`s lips were tilted slightly upwards in a small smile, like he knew the scenario all too well. 

"Can you even get used to something like that?" He pointed to the two over-dramatic Gods. 

Jinyoung answered with a chuckle and went downstairs to his room. Jaebum turned to his own room and quietly made it upstairs, only to receive a questioning sound from Jinyoung as the God was suddenly besides him.

"What?"

"Are you really going to sleep in a separate room?" Jinyoung looked at him with a sideways smirk, the ever-so teasing smile growing bigger as Jaebum`s cheeks tinted in light pink.

"Well," he dragged the last letter, "if you offer your bed, then no."

Jinyoung grabbed onto Jaebum`s hand, teleported them both to the book-shelf guarded room. Metallic scented, heavy thoughts filled Jaebum`s head, whilst he was in Jinyoung`s intoxicating hold. 

Their relationship wasn`t forced, that much they knew, but it was so unfitting from the first place. Like puzzle pieces that have their sides and joints ripped off and thrown away. They fit in the big picture, leaving holes and emptiness that can never be re-stored. But, the sides that still existed and brushed against each other, held them together better than any another of the perfect puzzle pieces did. 

They went from pure hatred and fear, to heated kisses and sly touches, to softness only more meaningful intentions can hold. Whilst Jaebum gave his pure heart out there, for Jinyoung to damage it in his wicked ways. 

But, take it from a different perspective. If Jinyoung would be a child, who grew up in an environment, that skillfully empties you every second of your life, yet still managed to plant new seeds of hope, only to rip the blossomed flower out later - could the child really quit it`s wicked ways? Can a new planted flower, that would be more like a rose with millions of thorns, still help? The thorns would pray open his already damaged and rough skin, and wash the world in hot crimson. With lethargic steps he would get used to the pricked hope and live through again. 

Somehow, they both had gone from hate, to roughness, to together built promises. Promises of - what? Of better days, fog covered, suffocating mornings and sloppy kisses in the moonlight, highly intoxicated. Yeah, those could be the promises of two broken men as they picked up patches of worn out fabrics and tried to sew each other back together, then to each other.

Jinyoung`s eyes wandered to the peacefully sleeping Jaebum. His lashes threw almost invisible shadows on his puffed-out cheeks. The sharp look he wore to hide from the praying eyes of the world was eased behind peacefully resting eyelids and over-grown bangs in his new hair color. 

He couldn`t look any longer. His own mind threatened to go insane, if he continued any longer. He wondered of what will happen now, now that he no longer needed to take Jaebum`s energy. The week of tension as a thin spider web was washed away by the morning rains - freeing Jaebum from the evil spider that had caught him into his trap, Jinyoung in other words. 

Of course he wanted to trust his Sin, kiss and hug the thorns of hope, but it was never that easy. 

He knew exactly why.

The morning came in slow steps, so slow Jinyoung was done waiting for it to finally drag over the nights clouds, which never seemed to disappear. As soon as the wind had cleared a part, another crush of them washed over the starry sky. 

His feet hit the cold floor as he quietly made it to the library, located outside of his room as an enormous God. The stinging of cold coated wood under his bare skin made small stings bolt throughout his body, till the warm had melted into puddles, left behind as he walked away. Away from the room, where shallow breathing lulled every object in it warmly. His eyes scanned the shelves of thick and thin books, landing on the single black-covered one. 

"There you are," he took the squared book in his warm hands. "We can`t let him read your secrets yet, now, can we?"

The stairs took him above on the first level, where sleep never seemed to exist. Maknae`s excitedly playing games, while the two other Gods were muttering in hushed tones. Even without listening, Jinyoung knew the reason of secret tones and worried gazes. The two were so into discussing, they only noticed Jinyoung when he slammed the book down between them two.

"Listen up now," he gulped a breath, "I can`t go into much chatter."

"Why?" Mark`s teasing smiles were always a must in this matter. "Your prince is waiting for you?"

"No," Jinyoung landed on the stool with a thud, "Jaebum`s sleeping."

Jackson`s eyes were unusually big, filled with emotion they all knew would once come - sorrow, apology and maybe hope, again. "Spill it out, Jinyoung."

"The book," he pushed it towards the two, with prisoner kind of relief when getting freed from it`s invisible strings. "Don`t give it to him till," he gulped.

"The Day," Yugyeom reassuringly squeezed his shoulder, "we know."

"It`s closing in," BamBam smiled softly. Behind all this softness were smokes of deep anger and desperation as The Day neared it`s steps closer. It had always been so far away, yet, now, they felt the dread more inevitable than ever.

"I suppose you`re really happy now." Mark had always been one of those people Jinyoung never regretted befriending and always sticking up to. "Everything is back to normal, we are like most of the other squads now."

"We need a cool name!" Jackson yelled and the matter was put off for another night, probably more heart-wrecking, but later. "What about - The Lead Seven. TLS for short."

"It sounds like a sexually transmitted disease," BamBam snorted, which resulted into Youngjae laughing so loud almost the whole house was shaking.

"Strong Seven?" Mark suggested, but everyone denied that one as well.

"Ah, how did the Monsta X clan, BTS and Exo come up with their names?" Jackson sighed in his palms as all hope seemed lost.

"What about Got7?"

"How long have you been listening?" Jinyoung grinned as he lazily slung a hand around Jaebum`s waist, when the other came closer. There were still shadows of sleep and drowsiness on his face, but his eyes seemed to be glowing with life.

"Since the sexually transmitted disease," Youngjae broke out laughing again. "So, what about it?"

"I think, Got7 sounds nice." Mark smiled. "I guess it means we are complete now. No one leaving and no one joining."

"Ahh, but we have an intruder in our Got7 squad," BamBam whined as he looked at Yugyeom. "Gyeom`s from BTS."

"No, I`m not!" He hit the back of Bam`s head. "Kook is, not me!"

They all laughed for a while, a while where the worries were put at ease. Mark shot Jinyoung a knowing look, whilst the other five were dragging Jaebum away and on the couch for a movie.


	9. Tomorrow, Today

 

Winter had always been a period of peace, a period in which most animals, nature in general, took the opportunity to fall deeply into dreamless sleep. Fall in darkness, without a common sense of anything happening around, unless waken up by an intruder or beams of warmth - spring.

Winter went the same for Jaebum. The autumn, that had drastically poisoned his mind and made him practically fall into a state, where nothing existed anymore. Think of it deeper - he had been in that state for a while now. Far longer than his memory cared to remember and that was just pitifully sad. That`s till Jinyoung had barged in his life and cut his slumber short. As much as he hated the God for doing so, he was also thankful to no extend. Not only that, of course.

"Ah, Jaebum," Yugyeom gulped with an unseen uneasiness and discomfort, "what are you doing up so early? We were just discussing plans for today..."

_Something went terribly wrong._

Something had occurred and destroyed his dreamland, but no one, absolutely no one, cared to as much as explain him a word. Judging by the disappearance of his trustworthy, little, black book - the answers were stored inside the tightly closed covers. He had basically inspected every book that could be found in this house, knowing all too well that you couldn`t find almost anything else, other than video games, in the other Sins rooms. It was nowhere, the hope seemed to fade away or hide behind a shield of invincibility. One that Jaebum couldn`t break. 

The others had been behaving weird since the end of the winter. Just where spring had hopped over doorstep and made itself comfortable with sweetly-scented flowers and newly green grass, the Gods and Sins had fallen into some kind of after-winter sleep. Their expressions were mostly grim, that`s when the troubling matter of whatever it was, wasn't put at ease. 

The pain of thousands suffering was trapped in a single glance that was sen towards Jaebum. Jinyoung himself had gotten a bit more distant, yet so much closer as well. He was painfully quiet yet screaming the loudest words of hope at Jaebum.

"What are the plans for today?" Jaebum casually asked once he had re-appeared into the kitchen, hours later, slamming his coffee cup down on the counter a bit too harsh, the boiling liquid flowing over the edges. He grabbed a tissue and wiped the mess as he shot another questioning look to the two Sins and two Gods before him. "Hm?"

"Well," Yugyeom nervously laughed. "We were planning to hang out with Bangtan today."

"Bangtan?"

"Kook and the others," Yugyeom explained.

"Oh," Jaebum didn`t seem to fazed by this idea. After all, hanging out with the others was nothing strange to him. 

"Jaebum`s not going anywhere with you today," Jinyoung muttered as he suddenly appeared behind his Sin and rested on top of his slouched back. "We`re going on a small trip."

Jackson`s eyes light up in excitement: "where?"

For a second there was no answer and the gleam died out in his eyes: "to the underground lakes." Jinyoung`s answer made everyone hold their breaths in unison, except Jaebum. He was left out of some sort, meaningful eye-conversation again.

"Nyoung-ie, are you sure?" Jaebum had never heard Mark`s voice ache in such softness with a hint of heavy melancholy to it.

"What`s so... unsure about that?" Jaebum turned his head sideways and almost crushed his lips on Jinyoungs, lightly rubbing his pair against the corner of the others mouth.

"It`s still cold" Jinyoung answered.  

"Okay," Jaebum turned his attention back to the cup of coffee. 

He wasn`t buying those lies, but for the sake of dear peace, which was a bit too much lately, he kept quiet as of buying the ridiculous excuse. 

The breakfast was finished mostly in silence and random shouts from BamBam and Youngjae competing against each other in another game, where one was occasionally losing and shouting in rage. They left the house an hour afterwards, got into Jinyoung`s car and with another word made it out of the gates. Somewhere in the middle of the ride, where the scenario of continuous cities hadn`t changed by a bit, Jinyoung`s hand found it`s way on Jaebum`s tight. At first Jaebum`s cheeks had flushed in a deep color of red as he tried to slip in unnoticed, like it wasn`t a big deal. He was supposed to get used to Jinyoung`s touch and actually any move the God made, yet he never did. It was impossible to get used to something like that. Not when his heart was thumping inside his chest like crazy. In the end, he placed his hand on top of Jinyoung`s and got used to the warm sensation it created. 

They stopped after two hours, in the middle of nowhere. A field that was coated with few trees on the sides of it, a collapsed house and a dead end of a road.

"Where are we?" Jaebum questioned after Jinyoung had gotten out of the car and taken his hand.

"Nowhere."

"How is this possible?"

"Usually no one finds this place, a God once lived here, but he got killed off."

Jaebum`s eyes widened by a fraction: "a God can die?"

"Obviously."

Of course they can, Jinyoung told me about it himself, it was written in the book as well, he sighed in his mind.

The words of: _God is dead and we killed him_ , suddenly rang in Jaebum`s mind as Jinyoung dragged him further down the poorly habitat land. They came to an abrupt end, where wooden stairs took them towards the other end of the earth. When they had finally climbed down, there was a cave, with a high opening, which looked majestic in it`s own way. 

"People know of this place, because it`s strongly tied with the main Goddess of Knowledge, as the mark on my wrist indicates - I am someone she took under her calming wing. People who potentially have the possibility to become a Sin for a God of Knowledge, often get attracted to this place. But, only when the God is longing for a Sin." Jinyoung explained as they made their way into the mysteriously illuminated cave. 

"Why didn`t you try finding your right Sin here?" Jaebum questioned once they had stopped by an enormous lake. The water was reflecting the high vault, which was dropping beams of sunlight, even tho not a bit was open for it to get in. 

"You think I would`ve gotten a different Sin than you?" Jinyoung dropped in the warm sand and patted Jaebum to do so too. 

The warmth of the sand seemed familiar to Jaebum, the way it poured into his shoes and climbed between his fingers. The magic of light from an unknown source, it was all somewhere in his mind. 

"You would`ve found this place, because I was here," Jinyoung intertwined their fingers together. They both sat there, watching the metallic looking lake. 

Jaebum`s hands sank further into the sand as his cheeks grew hot, till it all came to a halt. This was the same exact place as from his nightmare.

"Jinyoung," he unintentionally squeezed the Gods hand much stronger, "I know this place."

Jinyoung chuckled: "you can`t know it. It`s impos~"

"The nightmare at the hotel," he gulped. "Where I heard Jimin speak from the inside of that bird, it all happened here."

Jaebum`s words or rather the meaning behind them made Jinyoung go completely pale. When the silence hung into Jaebum`s ears far too long, when Jinyoung`s hold seemed to fade away from the reality of rigid breaths - he finally darted his eyes to the other. The other, who was gazing wordlessly at him, with so much sorrow in his eyes. 

Something had made itself clear in Jinyoung`s head, that much Jaebum knew, but what it was - was still a mystery. 

"Here?" His voice broke. "Why here of all places?" He sighed and closed his eyes, lips trembling with language that made no sense to Jaebum. Whatever Jinyoung was saying, it sounded pained and pleading. Hot tears prayed themselves from under his closed eyes. "Tell me this is a lie, Jaebum, tell me."

"Why would I lie?" 

"Just tell me!" He snapped at the Sin, eyes shooting open in a red gleam of despair. He had learned it a while ago, that the redness of his eyes had stopped holding anger.

"Lies, you want me to tell you lies?" Jaebum was left confused as he dragged his hand away from the other. "If so," he looked a bit confused, "then, I didn`t see this pace in the dream."

"You`re a terrible liar."

"That`s because you know the truth."

The silence was cut by Jinyoung`s soft sobs as he continued to stare at the lake, seemingly not noticing the flow of tears, steaming down more and more by every second. Jaebum`s heart ached in an unknown pain as he saw Jinyoung`s bottom lip tremble in a bitter breath and more, burning tears staining his cheeks.

He crawled towards the God and for the first time, Jinyoung seemed thousand times more fragile than he, himself, had ever been. Even as a human. He enveloped the other in a hug, whilst Jinyoung responded to the comfort, by immediately burying his face in Jaebum`s neck. Soft wind was brushing pass them in a slow matter from the entrance, it warmed them both and united. 

This was the moment where they knew that the fire, that flamed in their souls, weren`t going to destroy anything. It served to warm up and protect one another, to save from deep, winter colds and drenching rains. To serve as home for each other. 

"I don`t want to know the truth," Jinyoung chocked between sobs. 

All Jaebum could do was rub soothing circles on the Gods back and whisper sweet nothings. "Give me a kiss, Jaebum."

He stared in surprise at the demanding, red eyes that were staring back at him. 

"I don`t want a gentle kiss, I want you to show, if I`m worth it. To see," he held back, "feel your emotions. I want to feel the hate that I had planted into your heart, I want to feel your desperation and pain. Just, sho~"

Jinyoung`s sentence was cut short as Jaebum moved his hand behind the back of his head and brought their lips together. He poured his heart into the sync of their breaths, the warm wetness and, he made sure to leave out any attempt of being gentle. Heat spread through the pit of his stomach as he hungrily bit onto Jinyoung`s lower lip, at the same time pushing Jinyoung down on the sand, his hands getting buried at the sides of the God.

"Jaebum, you`re taking it too far," Jinyoung panted in between the hungry kisses. 

"You asked me to show," he traced the outline of Jinyoung`s jaw with his lips and stopped by his ear, "and I am just doing what you asked for."

"Not here," he pushed the other away with a small smile on his face. "It`s a sacred place, keep some decency."

Jaebum raised an eyebrow: "oh really? Do something about it then."

The weightless feeling of changing their location picked them up from the sand and dumped into soft sheets, drenched in familiar scent of dusted library and warmness of rain filled ground.

Jaebum's eyes widened by a fraction when Jinyoung caught both of his hands and a low growl erupted from his sinfully pink lips: "you don't think I'll just let you dominate, do you?"

The air was filled with sharp breaths and ecstasy, the intoxicating aura dragging into the library and climbing up the steps to the first floor, where forgotten and out of time stood both - living and artificial. Their heated skins stuck together and refused to ever break apart, they both we're in a tangled, pulsating mess, hidden between the white sheets and burning desire. 

_The time had stopped once again._

***

When the ticking of usual and seemingly day-to-day began it's walk again, the two of them stuck together without a room for air of loneliness. The warmth and life of spring had taken all of their minds, their days seemed shorter, but so much more well lived. Maybe it was the dread in Jinyoung's mind and everyone else's, except Jaebums, that cut the time in such a short notice. But, maybe, Jaebum just felt it on his skin as the sun advanced further up in the sky and stayed there longer, burned their heated nights stronger and flared their kisses more sincere. 

When the night ended, the morning came. Usually with Jinyoung's messed hair in Jaebum`s eyes as the God rested close to his chest, lips parted as breaths of reassuring dreams made their way to his ears. Sometimes the mornings came with rain softly pattering the window from outside, wanting to peek inside their cavern of bliss, while they both slept in each others arms. 

Their days passed softly, without a lot of sound - eerie silence before the whole Hell broke off. 

Then the days turned into book covered evenings and cups of tea and salt-crackers. They were either slowly reading on the bed or outside, under the darkened sky, back to back. 

"I swear this was at least in 10 other books I've read." Jaebum sighed as he threw the book away, literally. This had happened for the first time. Usually, when he didn't really enjoy a book, he read it quick and quiet, till the end and picked another one, but now - something had poked on his nerves. 

"What exactly?" Jinyoung asked not giving too much attention, but keeping a fair share between his worries and Jaebum.

"The line - _and at that moment she understand, he was not the one for her. Like a pang in her chest, with the sharpest arrow._ " Jaebum recited, "so tired."

"What else did you expect?"

"Someone who will resist and not accept the fact that their heart no longer loves." Jaebum answered with a pout.

"That's what I call usual."

"Every book is usual to you."

Jinyoung put his papers down and turned to Jaebum: "fine. Then - what would you do if someone said I wasn't the right God for you?"

Jaebums eyes widened as he pondered in fake amusement. "Scream in happiness: FINALLY THIS TORTURE IS OVER!"

"Shut up!" Jinyoung threw a pillow at Jaebum's head and rolled on his other side, with a laugh still escaping his mouth. 

It was evenings like that, which made Jinyoung`s stomach drop, it was evenings like that, which made Jaebum`s greed of stopping the time grow. 

The evenings advanced further into nights, nights with hot breaths and sticky mouths pressed to one another. Yet, not always. Sometimes they fell asleep with a book on their chests or each others arms around their waists. A jolt of electricity when ones breath hitched in the horror of a nightmare. However, Jaebum`s latest nights had consisted of thin sleep, interrupted of his mind waking him up. Up to emptiness beside him, where only messy sheets with Jinyoung`s scent indicated the Gods previous presence. 

At first he went to search for him, but every time he found him outside in the library, scrunched over a pile of books as he mumbled words of nonsense under his nose. The first time of comforting had ended with a sharp yell and Jinyoung`s red gaze, the last ones he didn`t dare to interrupt him anymore. Till, like now, he didn`t even leave the bed anymore.

"Jaebum," a voice whined loudly in his ear as he lazily opened them in tiny slits. As much as he struggled to answer, only a murmur of nonsense left his lips. "JB-hyung, wake up! We gotta leave for Bangtan in few."

"Bangtan?" He sat up in the bed, his hand landing in the cold space besides him. Yugyeom shot him an apologetic smile. 

"Why?"

"O-Oh, Jinyoung didn`t tell you?" He scratched the yellow mess on his head. "We are spending today with them, Hobi and Jin-hyung are anticipating your visit as well," he added.

"I`ll be up in 10," Jaebum smiled as Yugyeom disappeared behind the door. 

After taking a shower and stealing the hoodie Jinyoung wore yesterday, he made his way upstairs, where the Maknae`s were sprawled on the couch. 

He buried his nose further into the soft fabric, which was thickly laced with Jinyoung`s scent. The one that left his mind clouded and relaxed. He missed him. Dearly. 

"Hyung, you`re driving!" Bam yelled and threw the car keys at him.

"Where are the others?" He asked and got his sneakers on. Today seemed rather cold for a summer day.

"Out," Youngjae answered quickly and darted outside before them all. He took the notice of the quietness that had settled within the Sins. The Gods were gone as well, which meant that Jaebum will have to do with Jinyoung`s hoodie as the only reassurance till the end of today. He twirled the couple ring on his finger out of habit as he made his way out of the house.

Jaebum had memorized the road to Bangtan after few times of going there with either Jackson or the other Sins. Mark nor Jinyoung went there often, he would also stay home, but the thought of Jin, Jimin and Hoseok always anticipating him, made him go with the Sins. 

If the Sins were awfully quiet, than the Bangtan house was even worse today. Jin, Yoongi and Kook were gone. Hoseok and Jimin were doing their best to not give him even a minute of an extra breath or time to think. That's when he didn't run away, that is. 

When Jaebum stumbled upon any of them, all he heard were hushed whispers and troubled gazes as he ran onto them. It had happened at their own place a lot as well, not just the Bangtan house. And it hit a high part of Jaebum's nerves.

"That`s it!" He yelled out in anger, the other Sins froze in their spots. "If you think I`m fucking blind - I`ll drop you in Jinyoung`s forest!"

"Don`t mention his name," Jimin snarled.

"Shut it!" Jaebum had no idea what had gotten into him, but, then again, before Jinyoung, he used to flare up quite a lot. "He is my God Jimin, while you and Hoseok didn`t tell me shit. I lived as a livestock by you, till the day at Jongmyo! If I hear another word from you about Jinyoung," he spat through gritted teeth, but stopped the other half of the sentence and swallowed it back. "Tell me, what is going on?"

"Hyung," Yugeyom laughed nervously, "we don`t understand what you`re talking about."

"Oh," he let out an airy chuckle, feeling as of going insane. "What I am talking about? How you`ve been whispering behind my back for months. I have no idea of what you all are hiding! Tell me, now."

BamBam gulped as he muttered something inaudible and stepped closer: "Jaebum," his words were shaky. "The deal with us is," he looked everywhere, but Jaebum.

"You`re not really telling him," Jimin glared at Bam.

"Today is The Day!" Youngjae snapped. "There!"

"I think you`re missing something important," Jaebum pinched the bridge of his nose, "I have no idea what it is."

"A day where a God needs to pay for his Sin," Namjoon explained. "The pay is nothing serious, most of the time, a thing he gives and is allowed to protect his Sin, but... It`s different for Jinyoung. He isn`t allowed to keep a Sin, he can only make the Sin into a God or not, when The Day comes around."

"By what price?"

"It`s either his life for your immortality or your life for his. No one knows what happens to the Sins he had lost."

"See, this is probably our last day," Jimin was crying, his eyes were pressed shut as he talked. "Hyung, don`t go."

Deafening silence pressed her hands over Jaebum'e ears as the world spun in circles and mixed the colors together. His ears rang annoyingly while he struggled to keep himself on his own two legs. 

_He felt it._

The power he received was enormous, his mind felt like burning and he could hear thousands of voices screaming words in his ears. It was like a certain paragraph in a book, that no matter how many times the book was re-written, never changed. As the seconds ticked, the scenario unraveled further.  

"Jinyoung," he panted, realizing what was happening. He stumbled out of the house and was met by the clearing that lead to the cave of Knowledge. "JINYOUNG!" He yelled out desperate. The world of Gods was unforgiving and strict, he knew what was happening in Jinyoungs head.

_A God can see their Sin as the last thing in this world as they pass._

He collapsed in the sand and watched branches stretch towards him from the loose surface. The forest was slowly adapting to him, similarly like it had from Jinyoung's God to Jinyoung. "Don`t do it, Jinyoung, don`t!" Jaebum`s mind made a race through the memories they had shared, the touches they had left late at night, and he refused to let it all go, to bare with the growing pain inside his chest.

"Jaebum," a light breeze touched his chin and traced it`s cold linger against his jaw. "I`m so glad, I found you." 

"You didn`t! I hate you, I never loved you, Jinyoung!" He yelled with tears steaming down his cheeks with no end. "Give my life! Please!"

He collapsed by the water, where Jinyoung`s sorrowful and love-full eyes were staring back at his own teary ones. "Don`t leave me," he choked out. "I need you."

"Jaebum," he closed his eyes in despair, while Jinyoung's fading voice echoed around. "I won`t be able to bare with the emptiness if I give you for myself."

"I will find you again!" He continued yelling, " _JUST DON`T GO!_ "

He stared at the water, where only his red eyes stared back, not Jinyoung`s. "No, no," he watched the twin shake his head in fury. "JINYOUNG!" The cave threatened to break down, the water was turning darker by every second as he choked on his tears and gulps of air. "I love you. I love you so much."

And, he knew Jinyoung heard it, because at that moment, he was in the forest, at the steps of his shrine. The shrine, where a painting of Jinyoung`s smiling face was staring back at him, a black book by it. The shrine had it's steps new again, the paint new and the tears shed by it even more bitter.  

" _I love you_ ," a voice whispered in his head, before disappearing into thin smoke and leaving this world. 

He was alone again, left by the God that he had learned to love. A cold sting picked his heart as he felt the color fade from the world, where only pain, mentally so strong it hurt him physically, took away the only purpose he had found. 

As the memory of Jinyoung`s last whisper against his lips faded, so did he. 

As the God faded, the black **Lost Souls**  graved itself further into Jaebum`s skin, marking a new God.

_"Don't leave me._ "


	10. Smile like you mean it, hate like you don't

_"Jaebum?"_

_"Mh?" He opened his left eye in a tiny slit and looked at Jinyoung`s, sun covered frame. The grass around them seemed greener and the bird songs seemed sweeter, as Jinyoung supported himself up on one arm and took few more moments of silence before speaking._

_"What do you think of me? How do you see me?" Jaebum honestly wanted to laugh at such questions, but he coped up with a small smirk given the serious expression Jinyoung wore. "Like, right now."_

_"How I see you?" He repeated the question, giving it his own taste as he searched for words. "Well, right now, I am very much tempted to push you back on the ground and kiss every place the sun has warmed up on your skin. I see you as the most beautiful person to ever exist and," he paused and swallowed some more sentences, "I don`t want to lose you."_

A cold drop, of what he assumed was water, fell on his forehead and ticked down his temple, vanishing in his dyed hair. 

_Jinyoung`s white teeth broke from the shield of his plump lips as he smiled sweetly, his eyes crinkling as he did so: "that was too much."_

_Jaebum closed his eye with a chuckle: "you asked."_

This time few more drops covered his arms as he opened both of his eyes, but only the blue sky, with the egg-yellow sun in the middle of it, appeared before his vision. 

_"You said you want to kiss me, yet you don`t."_

_"You wouldn`t allow me to, you always end up giggling half-way." Jaebum mumbled back with a lack of attention towards the other._

He found himself getting drenched in water, more and more, as every second ticked out and gave it`s place for the next one. 

_"Look at me," and so he did. Jinyoung had a sorrowful smile on his face as the memory became paler and patches of grey sky riddled his vision. "Even when The Day comes and passes, I want you to remember me like this. Okay?"_

**_"Okay."_ **

The blue sky and the image of a sun-glazed Jinyoung got replaced by the trees stretching in front of the grey sky as white streaks of water fell towards him and landed on his hands, face, pretty much everywhere with a cold sting. The branches continued stretching in front of the crying sky as he didn`t dare to move from his miserable spot beneath the shrine.

"Don`t," his voice was raspy and stuck, "don`t cover the sky. I want to feel the rain."

The trees immediately dragged the green branches away as he continued gazing at the passing clouds and pangs of water. The memory came as a reminder in the right place. Jinyoung knew that well of Jaebum`s nature and the pain that he had planted in the new Gods heart. 

The surface beneath his palms seemed too caring and too soft, when he supported himself up to stand properly. Silence rang in his ears when he took the first glance around the forest and then on his wrist.

_**Lost Souls** _

Jaebum didn`t really knew what his power in this state did, but sure it had to pay up for something. If he ended up being a God not worthy this title, then at least he had the Forest of Souls and that was enough to pay up for his name. Not that he planned on making additions to the forest with his own two, bare hands. 

After the small inspection and the only difference being the mark on his hand, his eyes locked upon the painted brown orbs staring back at him from the painting propped up against the shrine. He wasn`t sure of how old the painting must be, but the edges were heavily torn, the paper yellow and paint faded out to a point where the skin tone merged together with the paper. But, unmistakably, it was Jinyoung`s face staring back at him lifelessly. He grimaced at the painful reminder and took his moment to squeeze the tears away and muster some courage to look into his eyes again. 

In the place of the painting, he noticed the leather-enveloped book. The book he had spent hours on searching, was right before his eyes. The ground didn`t seem interested in supporting his frame at all as he took shaky strides up the steps of the small shrine. He felt like trespassing a private area when he did so. It was something dedicated to Jinyoung and it didn`t feel right at all to cry by it, for some reason. Yet, when he collapsed at the top steps and took the cold book in his hands, and leaned against the wooden wall - he felt like home. 

He opened the covers and a page, as white as the snow in the contrast with the yellowed ones, landed in his lap. Not a word in the book interested him after he read the first lines. This was probably another breaking point.

_Dear, Im Jaebum!_

_It`s somewhere around 5 AM in the morning, the sun is just climbing it`s way up the darkened sky, and I can already see, it`s going to be a warm day. A pretty day._

_By now I`m already gone, I`m writing this before I have to go. Today is The Day, you also probably know what it is by now. But, maybe they didn`t get to tell you, because you freaked out:_

_The Day is a day where we, Gods, need to pay for you, Sins. See, nothing is easy in this world and we can`t call anything ours. That`s unless if we break a rule or two, but I can`t do it. All in all, usually the pay isn`t anything big, but, in my case, it is - either my Sin or myself. That is, because the God that is assigned to us is the God that made me a Sin in the first place. Not every group of Gods and Sins are feared, but we were, because we, me, Mark and Jackson, are basically the strongest types of Gods united. So, we pay a high price for our Sins. Jackson pays with the fact that he can never turn Bam into a God, the other always has to live through the misery of being a Sin (you don`t know much about Sins, so read some of the contents this book provides), Mark pays by bringing souls to the God._

_Now, why? Because the God that is assigned to us is a God of Lost Souls, he goes by JYP. There`s an old prophecy, that a God of Knowledge will defeat him and his greed for souls. He fears me and has made a deal that goes:_

_For you to keep a Sin, you need to give me in your immortality, if you wish to live you give me your Sin._

_I can`t give you to someone like him, since I don`t know what happens to the Sins. Even if I would know - my heart is tied with unbreakable chains that are united with yours._

_I wish I could write some words of comfort, tell - I`m in a better place, but that would be a lie. I don`t know where I will be when you read this and I do not want to know. Maybe I`ll be a tree in your forest, maybe I`ll be a dog in JYP`s mansion, who knows... But I cannot comfort your injured heart. The heart that I, myself, have torn in pieces._

_Forgive me, but I couldn`t discard you out of my life._

_Let me tell you one thing -_

_I am a God of Knowledge, remember that. Whenever you doubt me - remember that and one more thing -_

_I love you,_

_Park Jinyoung_

Jaebum`s head fell against the hard wall as he stared up at the branches with a new set of tears blurring his vision. The pain was unbearable. It almost felt like, if he could rip his heart out, to discard any remaining feeling, he would do that. But, of course, that wasn`t an option. 

What had happened after he got out of the forest was a bit of a blur even till this white day. He stumbled through the shield, right in front of their mansion, where the Sins and Gods were already waiting for him. They were all obviously nervous and Mark was holding a white piece of paper. It looked like some kind of an envelope and, using his ability to see more than a usual human would, Jaebum could see the letters of his last and first name in red writing on the corner. Jackson stepped in front of the others and shot Jaebum a dangerous glare as the other just managed to grip on his newly found book tighter.

"Where were you?" Even tho most of his memories were a blur, for some reason, his mind precisely remembered the overly pressed caution in Jackson`s tone as he mouthed the question. 

"Me?" Jaebum gripped a bit tighter on the book. "In the forest. How long was I gone?"

"Five days," Mark`s tone was probably the lowest Jaebum had ever heard. "This came for you." He handed Jaebum the neatly folded envelope. 

Just as Jaebum stretched his hand for it, the three Sins jerked behind the Gods, horror in their eyes. 

"Hyung," Yugeyom whispered, but, of course, Jaebum heard every word. "He`s a God of _Lost Souls._ " 

Jaebum intended to show no interest in their whispers as he ripped the envelope open and took just as white paper out of it`s shielded bed. 

_The headquarters have decided -_

_Im Jaebum, God of Lost Souls, turned by Park Jinyoung, God of Knowledge,_

_are assigned to be the leader to a group of these following Gods and Sins -_

_Mark Tuan, God of Silence_

_Choi Youngjae, Mark Tuan`s Sin of Sloth_

_Wang Jackson, God of Possessiveness_

_BamBam (real name classified), Wang Jackson`s Sin of Greed_

_Kim Yugyeom, Jeon Jungkook`s Sin of Gluttony_

_As their leader, you are required to meet the Oldest on specific dates to give in your whereabouts. More information from the Oldest, in your case - JYP._

_Participation in council debates is also required._

_With honor,_

_Minho_

Jaebum only shifted his eyes, so he`d have a good glare at the persons in front of him. Three in obvious fear, may I add. He felt utterly betrayed, to a point he actually forgot about the previous pain in his heart, to a point where his eyes glowed red in anger. The two Gods stood in a fighting position before the three Sins as they awaited for Hell to break loose. 

They were so wrong thinking that Jinyoung was the worst possible thing that could happen to them. Only this time, there wasn`t a Sin to calm down the new God in front of them, and they partly realized their fault in the emotions he had coped up with. 

The red vanished in a second as gold replaced the color and he raised his head up high. Whatever had gotten in his head made him slam the letter into Jackson`s chest as he carelessly teleported by them and then behind the group at the door. 

"I am your leader, so if you continue behaving like idiots - it will not pay off well," his tone was coated with betrayal as he shot the last glance at the five. Few seconds he lingered his pained look on Yugyeom, who Jaebum though had built a strong bound with. "I`ll be down in Jinyoung`s and mine room if you decide to act normal for some reason."

That was basically the beginning of the pained life of a God. An interlude for so much more pain to come. 

Days advanced into weeks, weeks into months till soon it was a blur of time Jaebum didn`t bother understanding. His so-called new friends had abandoned him, despite living under the same roof and earning the title of their leader. 

The small book provided him with just enough information of what he should be, yet it was nothing close to his state. For example, as a God of Lost Souls he should experience enormous greed for souls and power, but the only thing he wished for was forever-lasting sleep. It also explained why the other guys, all except Yugyeom and Jackson (Jaebum did think that Jackson was friendly just to make sure nothing happens to BamBam), feared him so much. That was the problem. Jaebum didn`t even know of how much power he had, he didn`t care. His spirit was so beaten over the time, that even when the first snowflakes landed on the frozen ground it didn`t dare to get any brighter inside of him.

Which time was it already? That he had opened a bottle and drank just enough to feel that exciting run of blood through his veins, that funny pang against his skull as he sat on the mansions roof and talked to the stars? His hands had gone completely cold and every time he pressed his lips against the bottle of wine they were kissed by frost, more intense. Somewhere 10 minutes into his discussion with the single, red-pulsating star, he noticed how hard it had become to breathe. He had no idea what caused it, but his chest filled with suffocating weight the more he breathed. Till he settled with not trying to get the air in his body. After all - he was a God, and humanly needs like breathing didn`t affect him. That Jaebum understood after spending few hours in the depths of the Pacific Ocean and not feeling the need to take a breath. 

He felt...

_Dead_.

Yes, dead. Inside. And, somewhere in-between of that, was the natural need of communication and simple understatement. 

He shook his head with laughter as another gulp of the nibbling liquid picked on his tongue and slid down to his stomach. "What even am I at this point?" Jaebum grimaced at the dark when nothing else came out of the freezing, glass container. He threw it away and made sure it lands somewhere in his pet forest. 

"You know you will have to clean that up," a voice interrupted.

"Oh, look!" He mockingly answered. "The stars have started talking back to me. The almighty - God of Lost Souls! The feared and powerful, the deadly and me~"

"Yeah, yeah, I understood," Mark groaned while taking a seat besides Jaebum. "It`s kinda our fault."

"Kinda? You dicks completely erased anything that had something to do with me!" He let it all out, and serving Mark`s specialty - silence - someone finally listened. "Dude," he mentally took note of how casually alcohol made him talk, "I had NO IDEA of how I should feel in this new role! I still don`t! I just wanted someone to pat my back and say - hey, Jaebum, it`s fine. Don`t worry, we`ll be here and you will be a great leader!" He took a breath to fight the long-kept tears away for some more. "You guys completely left me, for - what reason exactly?"

"You know we care for our Sins and we were afraid that as a God of Lost Souls, you c~"

Jaebum turned to Mark, his eyes flaming with new kind of anger: "I would what?" He spit through gritted teeth. "I would hurt Bam, Gyeom or Youngjae? That I could lay," he breathed sharply, "a finger on THEM?! You-" he got up on his feet and took the while for the world to stop spinning. "You are the ones that will kill them, the Sins!"

Mark bit on his lip as Jaebum turned away to leave, with slow and cautious steps. He scolded himself for being like this and grabbed onto Jaebum`s hand: "Leader, it`s been more than 20 years. Allow your heart to heal for once."

20 years...

"I will," he whispered and closed his eyes with a sigh. "I will, I`m leaving tomorrow morning."

  


Jaebum inhaled sharply as he stared at the gates before him. 

_"Where even are we?" Jaebum asked, the fright from getting kidnapped by Monsta X had finally died down and now they were standing in front of two metal gates, that seemingly guarded one of the biggest secrets behind them. Of course, he knew that over there was just a house they are going to stay at as his first week of being a Sin, but Jinyoung had really found a place guarded from the eyes of any interested person._

_"In the middle of nowhere," Jinyoung laughed. This is a small country and a significantly smaller city - it`s like a place that`s torn away from everyone else._

The memory was still fresh in his mind, yet, the place was not. The gates were still big and standing strong, but the paint was gone from most of it, the trees around were also over-grown, still trimmed, but now they were shielding the small square of grass and the lone house even better. Did the nature feel the need to protect their precious memories as well?

"Huh," a female voice questioned from behind. "Šeit neviens nav dzīvojis jau pāris... nē, vismaz 20 gadu. Vai Jūs būtu šīs mājas īpašnieks?"

Jaebum stared at the woman, startled. His mind completely leaving his body, till it finally coped the situation and he cracked a small smile. "Yes, I am the owner of the house. Well, now I am." He adjusted his tongue to the language.

"Oh, it`s such a relief to have neighbors back!" She had the sweetest smile ever. "As I said, the last time anyone lived in there was at least 20 years ago and even then, as my mom tells me, the couple lived there for a week or so."

"C-Couple?"

"Yes, two Koreans, around 20 years old, could be," she explained. "I don`t really remember, but mother tells me one of them used to hold conversations with me a lot, since mom nor dad could speak English. I only remember there used to be a person like that, his face has faded from my memory."

He smiled inwardly a bit. It was fascination that climbed up his nerves. Human memories were exactly that fragile and breakable, but he couldn`t blame her exactly as well. Sure Jaebum remembered talking with her. He remembered her childish, rounded cheeks and the sun kissed freckles right under her eyes, upon the round cheeks. He remembered the way her white teeth shone when they finally caught on some sort of discussion. Which was a rarity, by the way.

"I knew the owners," he smiled. For a second he felt like the little 13 year old girl was in front of him again, as her eyes glistened in surprise. 

"Really?!" Even her tone was a little too high pitched to say she was towards her 40. "How are they?"

"Good, happy," he chuckled, "old."

The woman playfully hit his arm: "only you young people dare to speak like that." They both stood in a little bit of uncomfortable silence as they just thought. Thought about the previous days. "Well, do step by sometimes," her eyes crinkled warmly. 

"I will. Thank you."

After the woman had left, he still stayed outside. The gates didn`t seem like something he`d want to trouble, like the memories behind them were too fragile to pick up again. And, truth be told - he was afraid. 

_"How much do you hate me, Jaebum?" To say that he wasn`t ready for a question like that..._

_"Hate you?" Jaebum furrowed his brows in confusion._

He wondered if Yoongi was here this time as well, after all - he left without any explanation. Mark was right, it`s been more than 20 years and he had still drowned in bottles of wine every evening, then, the next morning, disappeared into the forest till the sun decided to set. Of course, sometimes he had to take part in several meetings, but lately he had even ditched those. The Gods didn`t seem to oppose him. They were all scared. Scared of Jaebum`s power, that he still hadn`t found. 

With a swift push he opened the gates and slowly strolled inside. Despite the age, there wasn`t a single sound as the gate opened and fell back into it`s place. 

The garden was kept nice and the lawn was short as well, so the gardener had been doing his job properly for all these years. 

Not a sound interrupted him. Not when he walked to the door, not when he unlocked it and made his way inside. When he got to his room (Jaebum didn`t dare to go to Jinyoungs), he was greeted with a neatly folded shirt on top of the white covers of his bed. A familiar reddish-brown stain peeked at him from the shirt. Unconsciously he let his fingers run through the over-grown locks of his dark hair. It had been so long since that color coated his hair. Jaebum had changed everything that reminded himself of Jinyoung while looking at his reflection in the mirror. The mark no longer held any sign of Jinyoung and he didn`t have to worry about anything else. Except the tingling feeling on his skin, when his mind decided to swim in their shared memories late at night. 

That`s how he spent his days. Woke up early in the morning, cleaned around the house and went to buy some groceries. Later he cooked something to eat, read and learned about what interested him at the time, went for a jog. Mostly, after the jog, he either danced or fell asleep, after that he cooked, stayed up watching a movie and went to sleep relatively early. It was a routine that kept him sane for a while. 

Not always. Sometimes he still found himself drinking on the balcony or waking up late in the night, screaming Jinyoung`s name as he lost him over and over again. 

It was a torture, but his torturer didn`t seem to stop. It repeated for months, till the leaves had woken up and his island of isolation was coated green. Till, one morning, a blonde-streaked bird landed beside him and reassuringly pressed his head against Jaebum`s upper arm.

"I see you no longer fear me, Jimin-ah," he chuckled. Last night had been another one of screaming. The morning came with tears, so, by now, his eyes were red and puffy as he stared at the different butterflies fly around his garden. "Took you long enough."

"Hyung," the bird sang in a voice that no longer troubled his mind, "come back to us."

"I don`t want to."

"The Day is coming and JYP asks about your Sin," Jaebum clenched his fists. "You know you need a Sin, otherwise you`ll crumble."

"Then let me," Jaebum stood up, "let me crumble and return to Jinyoung."


	11. The villain started to smile

Jaebum gulped nervously. He twiddled with his cold thumbs and attempted to appear casual, which he actually did, but not in his own mind. He noticed the overly deep breaths he took and the way his eyes ran over the place, over every person and _the persons_ face. He knew _the person_ was watching him, examining and tearing him open from every corner that had unfolded in his crooked soul. He felt like under a surgery light.

"An order for, Wonpil," the lady announced and Jaebum`s surgeon hopped off his stool and went to take the grey carton with several cups. He paid with a card. Quickly done, the man, Wonpil, who`s name was pronounced really wrongly, left the coffee shop. Of course, not before cutting Jaebum open with another curious stare.

He assumed the other was Korean, judging by his name, which meant that there were more people of his nationality around. It kind of warmed Jaebum up inside. Because, people were still... staring at him from time to time. Yes - he was used to it, yes - he didn`t care, but it still happened. Tho, no one had examined him as Wonpil did just few minutes ago. The other didn`t even turn around or advertise his gaze elsewhere, when Jaebum caught his stare. 

"Order for Jaebum," and he slowly got off of his stool.

After receiving the delicious cup of coffee and paying, he stood outside the shop for a while. Just looking around and deciding where to go next. The hot, paper cup kind of burnt his fingers while he looked around, but it all disappeared when the menacing stare burned right between his eyes.

Jaebum`s brows furrowed as Wonpil stood right on the other side of the road. He spun around, a little too violently and marched right pass the coffee shop and farther, to the deserted part of the town. He was so into boiling in anger, blaming all world, that he heard the up-beat footsteps, skipping in his tracks only good 20 minutes later. 

"I will make him a tree," Jaebum rumbled as he crumbled the cup in his hand and threw it in the trashcan. He hoped that the person would just walk pass him and he could return back home. By return he meant safely teleporting and not minding a single thing on this planet. Time had lost it`s value to Jaebum, pretty much, nothing else had held him off in the first place.

However, the steps stopped and he continued walking. After a while the person was behind him again. He, of course, assumed it being Wonpil. So, Jaebum turned around irritated and met with the face he had expected to see there. Wonpil was standing, a stupid grin on his face. 

"Are you following me?" Jaebum asked in Korean first.

Wonpil`s gaze brightened even more as he excitedly answered: "I knew you were Korean as well!" He quickly bowed. "My name is Kim Wonpil!"

"And, you followed me because~?"

"Ah," the other broke into a huge grin as he waved with his hands frantically. "I wasn`t following you. I actually live right there," he pointed to a house few steps behind them. 

"I see." Jaebum turned the other way, the one he came from and started walking away.

"Wait!" Wonpil yelled. "Aren`t you going to as much as introduce yourself?"

Jaebum rolled his eyes and pressed away an annoyed twinge, that had sat on the tips of his fingers. "Jaebum."

"Well, Jabeum, I`d like to offer you to c~" his phone started ringing in his pocked, disturbing the conversation. Jaebum took this as an opportunity to disappear.

The smell of books and dust his nostrils when he had teleported. 

"Oh no," he groaned, when a library, that wasn`t his own one, appeared in his sight. The books longingly begged for an un-dusting. "Jackson and his promise-breaking bottom," he mumbled before teleporting once more. 

This time he got back in his room, the scent of strawberry and rainy forest lulling his senses in peace. That`s until a sharp pang tore his lungs, leaving Jaebum on his knees, hands gripping on the fabric of his shirt. The pain seemed to hit against his chest from the inside, every time hurting more and more. To a point where it had reached his head and hammered right against the inside of his skull. He dropped down on the floor fully, black dots jumping in front of his vision as everything swayed slowly. The birds chirping outside faded away, the smell mixed in one and that stupid, beatable, yellow-marked bird, that was screaming `Hyung` over and over again, behind the thick glass of his wooden windows, it all got mixed up. Washed like useless paint from a painters brush. His painter seemed tired of always painting Jaebum`s life the same. The same for 20 years.

_"Jaebum!"_

He squeezed his eyes shut, hearing the painful voice besides his head. The words he heard were never spoken out to him, just written on a piece of folded paper. But, Jaebum knew Jinyoung`s voice so well, his imagination did the job on it`s own.

_"Jaebum, please,"_ he pleaded and Jaebum almost felt a hand caress his hair and a tear land on his cheek. " _Please, you need a Sin. Gods can`t live without their Sins! Jaebum!"_ The cries became louder, but they also faded out at the same time. _"Jaebum, you`ll die otherwise! Please!"_

_CUT!_

The world cut short and he only heard the sharp pang of an irritated bird, slamming right into the glass. 

_Unbelievable_ , Jaebum thought for a second. _He broke the glass._

 

_It was a strange view he saw. The sun was a pretty yellow, almost orange, in the middle of the blue sky. Not a cloud coated his vision. He still felt the sharp pangs inside of him, but it didn`t matter._

_"Jaebum?" What mattered was Jinyoung`s frame in front of him._

_"Hm?" The sun was shining brightly, and Jaebum could see how shadows coated his skin when he stretched out to support himself up. But, Jinyoung was all in shadows. The sun didn`t shine on him at all and his skin was sickly grey. His skin was that color you`d give a smoker, not a living one, but to a corpse of a heavy smoker. It looked like his body was cut short of oxygen, turning blue-ish-violet in the process._

_Jinyoung mimicked Jaebum`s action and supported himself up._

_"What do you think of me? How do you see me?" Jaebum couldn`t answer, but his troubled, widened eyes were probably enough for an answer. Jinyoung pressed his chapped lips in a thin line and narrowed his red, blood-shot eyes, that weirdly didn`t fit in his grayed features. "Like, right now."_

_"How I see you?" He gulped, but Jinyoung answered with more silence. Of course he answered with more silence. Every word he spoke seemed too forced anyways. "Jinyoung, you are dead."_

_Jinyoung`s brows furrowed: "what the heck Jaebum?" His face showed obvious displease. "You go on insulting me, like I`m a damn corpse, even tho, all this time, I didn`t say anything about you!"_

_"What?"_

_"You`re suffocating."_

_Jaebum looked down on his hands and noticed how weirdly his veins popped up. Blue and pulsating on his **grey** skin. _

_"Wake up," Jinyoung`s voice was in obvious displease. The sun was still shining, but he felt like his body was shaken._

_"JAEBUM!" He suddenly screamed. "WAKE UP!"_

A glimpse of white ceiling broke the blue sky in the middle. Something kept shaking him, Jinyoung continued screaming for him to wake up. Only the sky stayed the same. Till the sun dropped like a light-bulb cut from it`s threaded wire. When it supposedly crashed by the horison, he opened his eyes.

_" **You woke up.** "_

Wonpil`s widened eyes stared at his as the world slowly stabilized. 

"What are you going in my house, Wonpil?" Jaebum groaned as he got up from the cold floor.

"What happened?! Did you faint?" Wonpil was shouting so loudly, Jaebum thought that the trees could teach him some manners. "Jaebum, your skin was _blue_!"

Really, he did feel out of breath and dizzy.

"Strange," Jaebum muttered. "I don`t need oxygen, but, here I am, gasping for air."

"I should call the ambulance."

"I`m fine."

"You don`t look fine."

"Why are you here?"

"Oh," Wonpil chuckled and scratched the back of his head. "My mom works here to keep the garden in place and clean the dust around the house, but she has gotten sick for the past few months. So, I take care of the place for her."

"I see."

He stomped by Wonpil and into the bathroom. The cold feeling the floor tiles, kind of calmed him down. 

"Wait!" Wonpil screeched. "What are you doing here?!"

"I live here."

"How come I`ve never seen you?" Wonpil crossed his arms, with a raised eyebrow.

"How come I`ve never seen you clean in all these months?" Jaebum splashed his face with cold water.

"I did!"

"I know," he muttered. "You give off a good scent, so I noticed." The last part was quiet enough, only for the running water to hear and wash away the whisper down in the drain instantly.

Wonpil had insisted on staying the night in the guest bedroom and leaving by morning, since he wanted to make sure that Jaebum doesn't stop breathing during the night. 

He really, stayed the night. Jaebum didn't need to rest, even tho, occasional sleep was still needed. It wasn't that night tho. Wonpil came in to check on Jaebum every few hours. At first he had done it every two hours, till, during the night, he came after three, four, till finally he had fallen asleep completely. However, as soon as it was 7 AM, he was already up and cooking. 

_Strange_ , Jaebum thought. _He barely had any sleep during the night, but not a single line of tiredness is scarring his face._

Maybe he even envied the younger human for his healthy looks, while Jaebum, in his whole, Godly immortality, looked for quite the years older than he was.

"Morning," Wonpil beamed upon Jaebum's appearance. "Did you sleep well?"

"Like a baby."

"Ah," he smiled and flipped a pancake. "Good."

Much to both of their surprises, Jaebum insisted Wonpil to stay (He wanted to leave Jaebum alone for breakfast) and they ended up eating away in comfortable silence. 

"What plans do you have for today?" Wonpil asked while they both cleaned up.

Despite the fact that they met roughly a day ago, they felt way more comfortable around each other, than particular strangers should have. Well, Jaebum was a God, so, what worry could he have?

"Nothing. I don't do much here."

Wonpil broke into a huge grin: "I have a suggestion." 

"No."

"Ah, come on," Wonpil whined. "You haven't even heard it and you go rejecting it! Who even does that?"

Be it the fact that Wonpil just had some sort of a natural charm or the fact that Jaebum had been alone for so long - he cracked a sideways smile. His mind blanked out for a second, whilst the water continued to run from the tap and on the plate he was washing. "Fine."

There was a surprised gasp from Wonpil, that no human could hear, but Jaebum did and it made his smile stay.

"Well," Wonpil propped himself up on the stool. He curiously observed Jaebum wash the dishes, yet the smile he couldn't see. Simply, because Jaebum was facing the other way. "Do you like music or singing?"

"I do."

"Perfect! I'm leaving for the capital city later today. The bus leaves at 13.45. I have a rehearsal with my band and then you can watch us perform at a café!" He smiled. "There are a handful of Koreans there, we always gather like this. They come and listen, have good time, we - sing."

"Sounds wonderful," Jaebum turned the water off and wiped his hands in a soft, white towel. "I'll be at the bus."

Teleportation would have been more of his thing, but, since he hadn't left the town even once, he simply didn't know his way around outside it. 

Wonpil left shortly after that, to get ready. It had been so long, since Jaebum felt genuinely happy. Happy just to communicate with someone, to be around someone. He strongly denied the feeling, but he even felt a bit sad after Wonpil had left. It was only 10 AM and he really had nothing to do. 

After few more minutes of silence, Jaebum settled with slowly getting ready for the day. Reading seemed out of option, since he had to watch the time and his focus was already elsewhere.

He took a long shower and for the first time in so long, actually played attention to carefully soap and wash out his hair. He took the white shirt and pulled it over his head, the fabric getting damp with water. Combined with blue jeans he felt pretty much done with picking out the outfit. 

"I don't look like I used to," he mumbled. The mark looked almost fresh on his hand, and maybe judging by the God years, 20 was really nothing. Think of it, Jinyoung had been significantly older. He had changed a lot and, staring in the mirror, running his hands through the dried hair, he noticed how out of place everything stood on his face. All that time ago he had looked happy, healthy, but now... His face was always coated with a frown, smiling ever so slightly made him feel like he had forgotten the action in general. That's until earlier today. "I need to get my hair cut."

With that conclusion, he left the bathroom and strolled in his room. He slowly made his bed and glanced at the clock, hanging on the wall above his desk. No matter how long he took, it was only 11.03 AM at the moment and he had plenty of time. Even too much for his liking. Something so insignificant as time had suddemly become such a huge burden.

Jaebum sat by his desk and took out a black, leather-covered book, with golden initials pressed on it. The book seemed so cold against his touch, the letters graved in like enormous pits, stretching in till the center of the Earth.

He took a black pen out of a transparent holder, placed on the corner by the wall, and opened a clean page.

_Dear, Jinyoung..._

_It's been so long. So long since I've written anything here, even longer since I last saw you. I once explained to you, why I'm doing this. Do you remember? Since you can read anything that's written anywhere, I genuinely hope you can see this too. Wherever you are - I miss you._

_Speaking more about what has happened and what is about to happen - I'm moving on. I think I can finally get a Sin. He's not bad, a guy I met in our Island of Isolation. His name is Wonpil, Kim Wonpil, and he already saved me once. The affect of not having a Sin is strong. I though I lost the battle yesterday, but he appeared._

_Nevertheless, for some reason, I still continue to go on. Without you..._

_This is not a goodbye,_

_Come back, please._

_Im Jaebum, God of Lost Souls_

 

Writing in the small book had become a habit by now. It eased some kind of longing and kept him sane when no one was around. An escape, for short. It helped at first. Today was the first time in 7 or 8 years he had written an entry of his own again. It helped to place his thoughts in place.

_Tap, tap._

He begged to ignore the itritating sound as he put the book away in a drawer and locked it.

_Tap._

With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, Jaebum turned in his seat towards the balcony door and the large window by it. Jimin's petite, bird form was determinedly smashing against it.

"Let me in!" The bird cried and for the first time in all his life, he though - _I'm probably turning insane. Insane for talking with a bird._

"Hyung!"

"I am not your Hyung, Jimin," Jaebum muttered. He did stand up to let Jimin in, but only after watching the feathered pest slam itself into the glass for few more times.

"Jaebum-hyung, you need a Sin!" He yelled immediately after getting inside. 

"Hello to you too, Jimin."

"I'm not joking." He stayed on the ground. Jaebum knew that he couldn't turn back from his bird state in this area, because of a spell Jinyoung had put on their house. He honestly felt thankful. Otherwise, Jimin would've dragged him all the way back to Korea. "You need a Sin. What I saw yesterday, it's not an early stage of dying anymore. You're closer than you imagine."

"You broke the glass yesterday," he pointed at the cracks.

"Hyung!" Jimin yelled. "I'm serious!"

"So am I! You broke my precious window!" Jimin didn't seem to be laughing, so Jaebum settled with a sigh and a short answer. "I'm working on it."

"Really?!"

"Yes, I just need to see how much the guy _knows_."

_"I count on you."_

 

After Jaebum got himself a bus ticket, he met Wonpil waiting by the departure platform.

"You really came!" He beamed.

"I said I would."

"Yeah, I just assumed you might've said that to get rid of me." So, Wonpil hadn't really trusted Jaebum. It wasn't really surprising. Give it to Jaebum, he didn't trust himself as well. After few more moments of silence, the bus finally approached the platform and people started climbing in. His seat was 15th, so there was still some time till he was called. "A friend of mine was supposed to join," Wonpil said. "But it turns out he's already at the capital city. Waiting."

"Okay. How many people are in the band?"

"Six, including me."

They didn't speak anymore, for the whole 37 minute ride, not a glance towards each other. Which honestly didn't bother Jaebum nor Wonpil. 

It took them some more time to get to the café they were supposed to. It was empty, a band propping up on the stage. 

"Who are we missing?" Wonpil shouted as the four people on stage excitedly yelled his name.

"Our Junior boy isn't here yet!" A guy with rounded glasses and a faded, pink hoodie said. He had his blond hair in a mess on his head, kind of like a 'soft boy look'.

"He'd kill you for calling him that," Wonpil said taking his place by the keyboard. Everyone laughed at his statement. "I brought a friend."

"Hello," Jaebum waved when everyone had noticed him. "I'm Im Jaebum."

"YoungK!" Guy at the left waved at him with a smile. "Chicken Little," he pointed at the guy besides him, the one with the glasses and the pink hoodie.

"Yah!" He screamed and swatted at YoungK. "My name is Jae! Like the beginning of your name, Jaebum, not Chicken Little."

"Seungjin," the guy in the middle bowed his head slightly.

"I AM DOWOON!" And suddenly a catchy beat from the drums echoed through the place. "I AM DRUM!"

All in all, the previously mentioned Junior announced his late arrival right before the show, so Jaebum spent his time with Wonpil and YoungK.

When people had appeared and familiar Korean flew throughout the place, the first few sounds from the guitars joined as well. The place was dimly lit and everyone went quiet around Jaebum. He watched the stage from the front table.

A figure ran up on the stage. He assumed it was the 'Junior guy', he turned to Jae`s sides and nodded briefly before fixing his mix in the place. Jaebum could hear as the signer took few breaths and started singing words along with the melody Wonpil played on the keyboard. Jaebum`s heart stopped the monotone beat it held. He couldn`t catch the tornado of his thoughts when the voice filled the small basement-like cafe.

"No," he whispered. "It can't be."

The voice, smooth and slightly raspy, the one that had lulled him to sleep at times, was now in front of him. He still doubted it, but when the lights came on, there was no doubt. 

Jinyoung was standing in front of him, with a smile as his eyes closed with the melody.

_He was back._

And, as his eyes landed on Jaebum, they ran over him without any recognition in them.


End file.
